Desperate Housewives Quotes

Bree: Now what were you going to say? Andrew: Well, um…Danielle is upstairs trying to commit suicide. (Bree questions Andrew with a…

Edie: (to Susan) Mike has no idea who you are. I envy him.

(Susan is trying to visit Mike at the coma ward) Nurse: You need to leave. You’re disturbing the other patients. (a security guard grabs…

Julie: So, why did they send you to juvie anyway? Austin: They didn’t. My mom did. Julie: Why? Austin: She had this boyfriend. No job,…

Julie: Normally I charge twelve bucks an hour for tutoring, but seeing as it’s you…fifteen! Austin: Great. See you Friday. Oh! And just…

(After Susan trips over the curbstone) Mike: You do that a lot, don’t you? Susan: Well, yeah, I’ve been known to take a spill or two,…

(Susan has taken Mike to Wisteria Lane) Mike: This is pointless, I, I’m sorry, I can’t – I don’t remember being with you. Susan: Okay, I…

Edie: Well, at the risk of stating the obvious, it’s over. He’s mine now. Susan: No, no, no, no! No, no, this, this is not how this ends….

(Gabrielle is sitting in the living room putting on make up when Carlos enters the house.) Gabrielle: Carlos. No Trishelle tonight?…

Mary Alice: We all have our reasons for rewriting history. Sometimes we need to provide ourselves alibis…(shot of Andrew talking with…