Desperate Housewives Quotes

(On the airport after Bree saw a report on TV about homeless teenagers) Orson: Bree, what’s the matter? Bree: A reporter just did a story…

John: Gabrielle. Gabrielle: God! That’s the first time I think you ever called me by my first name.

Nora: But it’s not your life. You’re life’s perfect.. Lynette: Excuse me? Did you smoke that bong before you beat the guy with it? Nora:…

Edie: Julie, sweetie. You’re a good girl. Do yourself a favor and stay away from my nephew. Julie: Trust me, I have no interest in…

Lynette My favorite game is counting all the things I’m dying to say to you, but I don’t…like…pipe down you annoying nutjob. I’d…

Mary Alice (ending narration): We all carry something with us. Of course, it’s nice if we travel with someone who can help lighten the…

(Ian knocks on Susan’s door after she told him she slept with 11 guys.) Susan: Take a number I’m with a client.

Mary Alice: Orson Hodge dreamed of the perfect honeymoon. Indeed, he’d begun planning it the moment Bree Van De Kamp agreed to marry him….

Gabrielle: How could you do this to me? I never would’ve let you seduce me if I knew you were getting married! John: Well you didn’t have…

(Susan just told Ian that she’s slept with 11 men in her life.) Ian: Where are you going? Susan: To bed! Alone! You know, it’s always…