Desperate Housewives Quotes

Orson: (to dead body) “Tu me manques, Monique” (“I Miss You Monique”).

Gabrielle: You screw up our lives and the only thing you can say is “that’s the way the cookie crumbles”?

Carlos: Hey, are there any decent, single women at this wedding? Waiter: Not that I have seen it. Lynette: Hey, Carlos. You should come…

Nora: I don’t know what idiot stuck me at that table but every guy over there is a boring stiff! Lynette: All of them? What about Jerry?…

Gabrielle: Hey, you are supposed to be on bed rest! Xiao-Mei: I’m bored! Gabrielle: Well, why don’t you try putting on a pair of pants?…

(Susan, Lynette and Gabrielle are discussing if Bree is making the worst mistake of her life by marrying Orson. Bree enters the room…)…

(Edie is about to give Austin a can of beer) Edie: Oh, wait. You’re 18, right? Austin: Well, that’s what my ID says. Edie: Yeah. Mine too.

Mary Alice: Have you met the perfect couple? The two soulmates, whose love never dies? The two lovers, whose relationship is never…

(Susan and Ian go out to dinner, but run into Ian’s in-laws, Susan is put in an awkward position of explaining their daughter’s condition…

(Carlos and Gabby are at the Divorce Mediators, having an argument over whom parts with what) Gabrielle: (slaps Carlos’ hand) Stop eating…