Desperate Housewives Quotes

Gabby: (about the baby, crying): No! You dont even want to be a mother! We’ve been feeding her and – and bathing her! And we wake up in…

Edie: I have told every woman in this town that we are getting married and all you have to say to me is, ‘I don’t know’? Karl: What else…

Gabrielle: Hello, everyone! I’m Gaby Solis, class of ’94. Woo-hoo! I just wanted to give God a big shout out to this amazing season. The…

Ed: At least you and Tom have a love life. Lynette: Well, we do the best we can given the circumstances. Ed: Better than Fran and I….

Dale: I got kinda held up in Florida longer than I thought. Carlos: Spring break, right? Dale: Yeah. Oh man, we were wasted twenty-four…

Eleanor: Excuse me, he has a magazine titled ‘Leather Daddies In Love’, that does not sound like a phase to me!

Parker: I don’t believe you. Lynette: Parker I’m your mother! Mothers don’t lie to their sons! Now, go wash your hands or Santa’s not…

Mike: So how did the two of you meet? Orson: Oh well I’ve been her dentist for years… last week i was looking in her mouth and decided…

Carlos: My mama worked her fingers to the bone for me! Gabrielle: That’s what put her in an early grave! (long pause) Well that and the…

Eleanor: (stuttering) …This is pornography for homosexuals!