Desperate Housewives Quotes

Carlos: I’m sorry, but this is your mistake. You’re going to have to fix it yourself. Gabrielle: And I would love to, but I have the…

Lynette: So, you’re saying if I died, you would want a second wife, and a family? Tom: Maybe… Lynette: I can’t believe you’ve actually…

Lynette: It’s not the Ebola virus, it’s chicken pox! You are being a baby! Tom: Yes, I am, and if you think I’m being a baby now, do I…

Julie: Mom, you’re hot, and funny, and nice, and clearly desperate – and guys are into that. Play to your strengths.

Mary Alice:(narrating) Illnesses can take on many forms. Those of the body are easy to treat. (shot of Lynette treating one of her…

Edie: (referring to Betty’s friendliness) I don’t trust friendly women. Lynette: That’s okay, they don’t trust you either.

Gabrielle: On behalf of cheerleaders everywhere… (She grabs Tom and kisses him)

(Susan has just finished questioning about the dead guy in the trunk) Bree: How did it go? Susan: Well, I told them everything I know,…

Gabrielle: (talking to Carlos about who might’ve told Lynette about her affair) So I know Susan Mayer would never tell must’ve been Helen…

(Paul storms out of his front door to Mike’s house. Mike is in the front yard, raking.) Paul: Delfino? (He punches Mike.) Paul: Stay away…