Desperate Housewives Quotes

Edie: (to Betty about the mailman) Well, he was great, but then he had this stroke, and now we’re lucky if he doesn’t drool all over the…

Lonny: It’s past noon, which means it’s now socially acceptable to start drinking!

Mary Alice: (narrating) Everyone in the world needs someone they can depend on. Be they faithful friends (shot of Bree walking away from…

Bree: Well, I have some good news. The police have finally released Rex’s body. Gabrielle: About time. Susan: You must be so relieved….

Mary Alice:(narrating) The world is filled with good fathers. How do we recongnize them? They are the ones who are missed so terribly,…

Tom: Hey, what’s wrong? Lynette: (Crying) Because of me, my son’s imaginary friend got crushed by a garbage truck. I am the worst person…

Tom: What have you done to Mrs. Mulburry? Lynette: Until there’s a body, there’s no evidence of a crime.

Parker: Daddy! I can’t find Mrs. Mulburry’s umbrella! Where is it? Tom: Well, I don’t know, sport. Honey, have you seen the umbrella?…

Lynette: Tom, he attacked a teacher with an umbrella! Tom: It was a poke, he poked her.

Susan: So I threw the ice cream at him and ran. (Pauses) Somebody say something. Gabrielle: Thank God you were wearing flats.