Eastbound & Down Quotes

Kenny Powers: There’s gonna be an ass ton of crabs, lobsters, wine, Bartles & Jaymes, corn on the cob, f*ckin booger sugar.

Kenny Powers: If I had to choose, I mean historically, I’ve always considered myself to be a tit man.

Kenny Powers: It’s no mystery that ass has always been tits’ greatest enemy. It’s almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass.

Kenny Powers: It’s like goddamn cocktober fest in here. I’m excited too, but let’s not touch dicks, alright.

Kenny Powers: I’m wearing all black. Outlaws wear black. Fags and cocaine dealers wear white.

Kenny Powers: I got this country wet, and now its time to bend this bitch over and make her cum.

Kenny Powers: Now this Friday night, I guarantee you, it is gonna be the biggest goddamn comeback celebration any y’all have ever seen….

Kenny Powers: Remember, there is no “I” in team, but there is a “u” in c*nt. So don’t be little jealous c*nts, ok?

Kenny Powers: I wouldn’t doubt if some of the muchachas show their panochas off. They might show their panochas off. They might be waving…

Kenny Powers: No, I was using an alias. Steve to me, just kinda seems like the name of somebody who has absolutely nothing going on in…