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Rating: 4.7 / 5.0 (217 Votes)
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On her first day at Columbia, Blair already has her heart set on getting into an exclusive club.

Gossip Girl's site is down, or it’s just under construction. A few scenes later, it returns with a bang, dropping bombs in Serena and many others.

Serena has her own problems. Namely Juliet trying to destroy her life. Blair gets a key that admits her to a club, Hamilton House, but Serena is passed over courtesy of Juliet.

Rufus decides to talk to Dan about his kid, having established that Dan isn’t really the father. Dan still feels attached to Milo, though.

Chuck is back, in love with Eva and boasting about her to Lily, who says that he should bring her to Fashion’s Night Out.

Blair dresses down Eva as she dresses up for the event but not as bad as Rufus does Chuck when he shows up - thanks to Eric revealing what he did in Season One. The whole forcing himself on Jenny thing did not sit well with R.

Chuck denies he knows Eva so Rufus won't tell him the truth as he threatens to.

Juliet tells Serena that Blair was the one who blackballed her from the club with talk of a secret sex tape with Pete Fairman.

Dan decides he doesn’t care if the baby is his or not, he’s going to keep it.

Serena arrives at Fashion’s Night Out to confront Blair in an epic fight, which Gossip Girl streams live. But it turns out the pair are playing Juliet. The fight was staged and taped to expose Juliet’s schemes.

Serena was always supposed to be admitted to the club and she gets her key after all after Lily pulls some strings.

Georgina comes back and tells Dan that someone is trying to kill her. She spins a wild story about mafia and crazy assassins but now they're off her back. And she can have her baby. Dan acquiesces.

Chuck decides to tell Eva all of his dirty secrets and she chooses to stay with him anyway.

The show ends with Serena and Blair deciding to room together.

Oh, and Juliet also goes to visit a creepy guy in jail who asks her how it's going. Harder than she thought, she says, but not to worry.

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Gossip Girl Season 4 Episode 3 Quotes

Blair: The good thing about no Gossip Girl: no Chuck. What about you? You're the one who has to start college with an ex-boyfriend loose on campus.
Serena: Oh there won't be any issues. Nate and I are still friends even if he is dating some gorgeous blonde named Juliet.
Blair: Oh, please. You are Serena van der Woodsen. We've been on campus what, five minutes? I bet there's already a frat house filled with guys fighting over you. And don't worry, my jealousy issues are as over as... surf fabrics for evening wear. And besides, we're carrying on our divide and conquer strategy from Paris.
Serena: But where will our neutral meeting ground be? Hot & Crusty will not possibly do after Café Louie Phillippe.
Blair: But Hamilton House will.

Chuck will soon realize that it doesn't matter if the dress is couture if the girl is off the rack. And then, as with all things that don't fit, you'll be sent back to where you came from.