Dr. Cox: Newbie, do you happen to know what a zebra is? J.D.: That patient just mocked me! Dr. Cox: It's a diagnosis of a ridiculously obscure disease when it's much more likely that the patient has a common illness presenting with uncommon symptoms, in other words, if you hear hoof beats, you just go ahead and think horsies and not zebras, mkay mister silly bear?
Elliot: Listen, Carla, I can't even pretend that I can give you tips on intercourse... Carla: I got one for you - stop calling it that. Elliot: My therapist thinks my trouble in bed stems from a basic fear of intimacy. But I just think it's just because any type of repetitive motion makes me nauseous. Oh, and since I was a little kid, I've always had nightmares about being crushed. Carla: That poor shrink