Shameless Quotes

Kevin: Hey we only sell American beer here to children of age! Come back when you’re 16.

Ethel [about the pot]: Isn’t it wonderful? Mr. Kevin is going to help all of the old people who are going blind.

Ian [about Lip]: I’m sneaking antibiotics into his toothpaste just in case.

Ian [to Lip]: Fraternal loyalty doesn’t extend to stupidity bud.

Veronica: The man’s in love with his own fabulous self, probably masturbates while he licks his reflection in the mirror.

Frank: I got tasered for like a second and I crapped myself. There’s no way you got tasered twice, fought off three cops and ran away.

Steve: Look at me, I can’t go to jail. I might as well wear heels.

Sheila [about a car]: Maybe a vulva, I hear those are real safe.

Ian: Hey Fiona? I’m gay. Fiona: I know.

Bar Patron: I banged Filipino hookers in the Navy that look more innocent than my niece.