Watch Two and a Half Men Season 3 Episode 11
"Santa's Village of the Damned"
Original Air Date:

Alan starts dating a woman who has a Martha Stewart complex. Soon the woman has the whole house completely spotless.

Watch Two and a Half Men Season 3 Episode 10
"Something Salted and Twisted"
Original Air Date:

Charlie tries to help Alan get over his obsession of trying to get the approval from the women in his life.

Watch Two and a Half Men Season 3 Episode 9
"Madame and Her Special Friend"
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One of Charlie's elderly neighbor tries to seduce Alan. Charlie tries to stop Jake from donating to a televangelist.

Watch Two and a Half Men Season 3 Episode 8
"That Voodoo That I Do Do"
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Charlie convinces Jake to take ballet lessons in order to score a date with the hot teacher.

Watch Two and a Half Men Season 3 Episode 7
"Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop"
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Charlie wakes up next to Rose after her birthday party. Her irate father (Martin Sheen), tries to find out Charlie's intention. Things get awkward when Charlie's mother shows up.

Watch Two and a Half Men Season 3 Episode 6
"Hi, Mr. Horned One"
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Charlie begins to date a girl that Alan thinks may be some kind of witch. He continues to do so until threatens to put a curse on his manhood.

Watch Two and a Half Men Season 3 Episode 5
"We Called It Mr. Pinky"
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Charlie finally realizes why he can't have a lasting relationship... his mother! Jake asks Charlie advice about a girl at school he's interested in.

Watch Two and a Half Men Season 3 Episode 4
"Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs"
Original Air Date:

Berta temporarily moves in with Charlie and Alan, causing a distressed Alan to find his own apartment.

Watch Two and a Half Men Season 3 Episode 3
"Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark"
Original Air Date:

Alan starts dating his ex-wife, Judith, again, and tries his hardest to prevent Jake from finding out.

Watch Two and a Half Men Season 3 Episode 2
"Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover"
Original Air Date:

After Jake gets suspended for drawing an offensive picture of a girl in his class, Alan tries to fix things by going to see the principal. Meanwhile, Charlie watches over Alan's office after an all-nighter.

Two and a Half Men Quotes

Charlie: Oh, try MalibuPuddingGirls.com.
Alan: Pudding Girls?
Charlie: Trust me.
Alan: Oh ... ew.

Charlie: You're like an Alzheimer's patient in a whorehouse.
Alan: What do you mean?
Charlie: You're constantly surprised that you're getting screwed, and you don't want to pay for it