Watch Two and a Half Men Season 3 Episode 9
"Madame and Her Special Friend"
Original Air Date:

One of Charlie's elderly neighbor tries to seduce Alan. Charlie tries to stop Jake from donating to a televangelist.

Watch Two and a Half Men Season 3 Episode 8
"That Voodoo That I Do Do"
Original Air Date:

Charlie convinces Jake to take ballet lessons in order to score a date with the hot teacher.

Watch Two and a Half Men Season 3 Episode 7
"Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop"
Original Air Date:

Charlie wakes up next to Rose after her birthday party. Her irate father (Martin Sheen), tries to find out Charlie's intention. Things get awkward when Charlie's mother shows up.

Watch Two and a Half Men Season 3 Episode 6
"Hi, Mr. Horned One"
Original Air Date:

Charlie begins to date a girl that Alan thinks may be some kind of witch. He continues to do so until threatens to put a curse on his manhood.

Watch Two and a Half Men Season 3 Episode 5
"We Called It Mr. Pinky"
Original Air Date:

Charlie finally realizes why he can't have a lasting relationship... his mother! Jake asks Charlie advice about a girl at school he's interested in.

Watch Two and a Half Men Season 3 Episode 4
"Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs"
Original Air Date:

Berta temporarily moves in with Charlie and Alan, causing a distressed Alan to find his own apartment.

Watch Two and a Half Men Season 3 Episode 3
"Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark"
Original Air Date:

Alan starts dating his ex-wife, Judith, again, and tries his hardest to prevent Jake from finding out.

Watch Two and a Half Men Season 3 Episode 2
"Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover"
Original Air Date:

After Jake gets suspended for drawing an offensive picture of a girl in his class, Alan tries to fix things by going to see the principal. Meanwhile, Charlie watches over Alan's office after an all-nighter.

Watch Two and a Half Men Season 3 Episode 1
"Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts"
Original Air Date:

After falling off the roof, an injured Alan needs Charlie to help take care of Jake. Charlie is fine with it until it interferes with his social agenda.

Watch Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 24
"Does This Smell Funny to You?"
Original Air Date:

Charlie sleeps with a woman (Karen Trella) who turns out to be married to an old man, Norman (Orson Bean), that seems very much like an older Charlie. Meanwhile, Jake has to read a paper to his class.

Two and a Half Men Quotes

Jake: You smell like strawberries.
Sophie: It's my lip gloss.
Jake: Does it taste like it smells?
Sophie: You wanna find out?
Jake: Sure!
[Sophie leans in to kiss Jake, Jake uses a finger to wipe her lip gloss off, then proceeds to eat it]
Jake: Mm

Charlie: Oh, try MalibuPuddingGirls.com.
Alan: Pudding Girls?
Charlie: Trust me.
Alan: Oh ... ew.