Vanderpump Rules Quotes

Jax: If I could back in time, I would rather hook up with Ariana than Kristen. It’s like night and day. Apples and oranges. I”m kidding,…

Jax: You can’t do this job sober on gay pride.

Stassi: Woman of America stop recording yourself having sex. It always gets out there. This is my PSA.

Katie: Let’s talk about how your dick doesn’t work! Schwartz: Whaaat? My dick works great.

Scheana: What are these, like, mid-thirty year old women doing with a fucking douchebag 24-year-old DJ?

Jax: I’m playing at your local Applebee’s, come and check me out.

Wedding planner: Have you thought about how you’re going to pair everyone? Tom Schwartz: Make Jax walk with all of the girls he has slept…

Tom Schwartz: How did we meet? I think we just got drunk and had sex.

Tom Schwartz: I’m worried Katie is going to want a Lisa Vanderpump wedding on a Tom and Katie budget.

Lisa: You’re not Calvin Harris.