Quotables from Week Ending Feb. 5, 2015

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These are some of the best quotes from the week ending Thursday, February 5, 2015.

1. "Caught him red handed and bare bottomed." Castle

"Caught him red handed and bare bottomed." Castle
Rick Castle: Caught him red handed and bare bottomed.

2. "You cannot have "The Passions of Santos" without Santos." Jane the Virgin

"You cannot have "The Passions of Santos" without Santos." Jane the Virgin
Rogelio: You cannot have "The Passions of Santos" without Santos. That is just "Passions" and that show failed.

3. "No! Are you nuts? Never take cookies or movie advice from a hipster." NCIS

"No! Are you nuts? Never take cookies or movie advice from a hipster." NCIS
Tony: Mat. Missing a "t" there buddy. Like "doormat"? ~ Mat: I dropped the second "t" years ago. Life's not about conforming to society's phallic-centric norms. Homemade gluten-free cinammon scones? ~ Bishop: Oooh. ~ Tony: No! Are you nuts? Never take cookies or movie advice from a hipster.

4. "I get you home." State of Affairs

"I get you home." State of Affairs
Nick: Charlie, what's the plan for Fatah? ~ Charlie: The plan remains the same. Kill Hakam, kill Fatah. ~ Nick: What about me? ~ Charlie: I get you home.

5. "You ate her cookie." Grimm

"You ate her cookie." Grimm
Hank: You ate her cookie. ~ Wu: I did? ~ Nick: Yeah. That's why you ate your carpet. ~ Wu: ...Oh.

6. "I got no grass on the infield and a girl's gonna die." Supernatural

"I got no grass on the infield and a girl's gonna die." Supernatural
Sam: Wait, wait, wait, wait! Talk to me! ~ Teen Dean: Really Sam? Now? I got no grass on the infield and a girl's gonna die. Sorry if I'm not in a chatty mood. Look. You wanted me back in the game, I'm back in the damn game. C'mon.

7. "Well I do." Downton Abbey

"Well I do." Downton Abbey
Miss Bunting: Have I finished us before we ever really even got started? ~ Tom: You pitted yourself against them from the start. How can you retreat from that position? ~ Miss Bunting: You mean I have made it them or me? ~ Tom: Haven't you? You despise the family, but I think you forget that my wife was one of them. My child is one of them. Where does that leave me? ~ Miss Bunting: don't you despise them? Really? ~ Tom: No, I don't. I would like things to change, but I don't think in black and white terms anymore. ~ Miss Bunting: Well I do.

8. "Your Musketeers have let me down again." - The Musketeers

"Your Musketeers have let me down again." - The Musketeers
Louis: Your Musketeers have let me down again. Keeps happening, doesn't it?

9. "I expect I will make them." Marvel's Agent Carter

"I expect I will make them." Marvel's Agent Carter
Jarvis: And what does the SSR have in you? ~ Peggy: I am a federal agent, Mr. Jarvis. ~ Jarvis: Yes, finely trained and skilled in the art of fetching coffee. These men you call your colleagues, they don't respect you. They don't even see you. Do you honestly expect they'll change their minds? ~ Peggy: I expect I will make them.

10. "I'm a stay at home mom with a full time nanny." Cougar Town

"I'm a stay at home mom with a full time nanny." Cougar Town
Ellie: I'm a stay at home mom with a full time nanny. I get up to stuff.

11. "What's the point of breaking your shell..." Pretty Little Liars

"What's the point of breaking your shell..." Pretty Little Liars
Mona: What's the point of breaking your shell if you turn into such a dull omelet?

12. "Do you know how expensive California is?" - Fresh Off the Boat

"Do you know how expensive California is?" - Fresh Off the Boat
Jessica: But this is not the West, this is the south. If we wanted the west we could go to California. ~ Louis: Do you know how expensive California is? This is the West enough. This is fine.

13. "You may be the Chancellor, but I'm in charge." The 100

"You may be the Chancellor, but I'm in charge." The 100
Clarke: You may be the Chancellor, but I'm in charge.

14. "Ken would have to give me a hall pass for George Clooney." The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

"Ken would have to give me a hall pass for George Clooney." The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
Lisa Vanderpump: Ken would have to give me a hall pass for George Clooney. It’s George bloody Clooney for god’s sake and he’s got a sense of humor which he would probably need when I took my clothes off.

15. "A lot's changed at 51 since losing Shay" Chicago Fire

"A lot's changed at 51 since losing Shay" Chicago Fire
Dawson: A lot's changed at 51 since losing Shay. We've welcomed in some new friends. Got a new rig and a dream of mine came true, but here's what hasn't changed, this house. This family. It's all as strong as it ever was. Even stronger because I think deep down in the quiet moments we think to our self Shay would want us to be better. She'd want us to represent her everytime we go out. You had an amazing sister Megan and I am so lucky to have been her friend.

16. "It's just you." Grey's Anatomy

"It's just you." Grey's Anatomy
Meredith: It's just you. The one you can count on, and lean on, and depend on. It has to be you. And once you figure that out, that's when being alone becomes a choice.

17. "Okay, partner, let's do it." The Big Bang Theory

"Okay, partner, let's do it." The Big Bang Theory
Leonard: You're sure it's good? ~ Sheldon: My name is right on there with yours. That is a surefire mark of quality. That might as well say "Directed by Joss Whedon". ~ Leonard: Okay, partner, let's do it.

18. "I like being a sociopath, ya know." The Vampire Diaries

"I like being a sociopath, ya know." The Vampire Diaries
Kai: Well in case you haven't figured it out by now, I'm a sociopath. I know, shocker. I like being a sociopath, ya know? I'm not burned by things like guilt or love.

19. "I want to hold out hope" Person of Interest

"I want to hold out hope" Person of Interest
Finch: I want to hold out hope, but hope is painful.

20. "You understand me, Earl?" Justified

"You understand me, Earl?" Justified
Raylan: You understand me, Earl? I'm gonna shoot your dick off.

21. "Bruce Lee" The Blacklist

"Bruce Lee" The Blacklist
Red: A wise man can learn more from a foolish question than a fool can learn from a wise answer. ~ Luther: Nietzche? ~ Red: Bruce Lee.

22. "Why aren't you calling the White House?" Scandal

"Why aren't you calling the White House?" Scandal
Quinn: Why aren't you calling the White House? ~ Jake: If I call the White House they'll kill Olivia. They can't go get her. ~ Quinn: Then...it's the three of us? We bust in there and take on god knows how many armed mercenaries ourselves? All right. I'm down.

23. "Come on Cyborg. R2D2 it." Archer

"Come on Cyborg. R2D2 it." Archer
Archer: Come on cyborg. R2D2 it. ~ Ray: R2D2 it? ~ Archer: Yeah, probe around in there and whatever, shut down the tractor beam. ~ Ray: With what, my dick? ~ Archer: I....however you normally do it. ~ Ray: I don't normally do it! ~ Archer: I know but this is an emergency.

24. "Watson, I've got every confidence that you could brain a man" Elementary

"Watson, I've got every confidence that you could brain a man" Elementary
Sherlock: Watson, I've got every confidence that you could brain a man with a metal tube if you put your mind to it. ~ Watson: That's very nice of you to say.

25. "Syphilis?" Reign

"Syphilis?" Reign
Catherine: Syphilis? Oh, Henry! Oh that is so like him. Hmm. A last gift so I'll never forget him or his whores. ~ Claude: Don't be so gloomy, mother. I have a rather rambunctious friend who underwent the cures and...oh wait...she did say they were rather excruciating. I'll send for her specialist. ~ Catherine: Why, thank you.

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