Flight of the Conchords Season One Quotes

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Flight of the Conchords has one of the quirkiest concepts on television but manages to have some of the funniest quotes on television.  We've gone through the first season of HBO's hilarious series, and captured some of our favorite Flight of the Conchords quotes.

Here's a sample of some of the best of season one:

Murray: I've told you. When you are in a band, you don't get with your bandmate's girlfriend. Past or present.
Jemaine: Yes, well, thanks for that.
Murray: You get a love triangle, you know, a Fleetwood Mac situation. Although there was four of them, so more of a love square. But you know, no-one gets on.
Jemaine: Ok, I see.
Murray: Mind you, they did make some of their best music back then.
Bret: Rumours
Murray: No. No, it's all true | permalink
Jemaine: It's not a cleaning cupboard, it's an apartment. It's my studio apartment.
Murray: More like a "compartment." | permalink
Eddie: The job is you have to hold up this sign and you have to make sure it points in the right direction. Now, does that sound like something you can do?
Jemaine: Sounds like something a lamp post could do | permalink
The Conchords
Bret: I have 15 dollars.
Mugger: Great, give me that.
Bret: It's in the bank.
Mugger: No! We don't have time to go to the bank.
Jemaine: We might just have time | permalink
Jemaine: You don't even know anything about threesomes.
Bret: Have you ever had a threesome?
Jemaine: Nearly.
Bret: What do you mean, nearly?
Jemaine: I've had a twosome. | permalink
Murray [referring to Quincy Jones]: What are some albums that he's done, Bret?
Bret: Michael Jackson's "Off The Wall".
Murray: I'll say he is...he's off the planet. Wants to freeze himself, doesn't he? | permalink

Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.

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Flight of the Conchords Quotes

Jemaine: I think I know where I went wrong last night.
Bret: Yeah?
Jemaine: Yeah, Sally wanted to leave when you turned the light on. I think she found it weird - the whole thing with you there with the - with the light ... on.
Bret: Yeah, I think it might also be because she and I used to go out.
Jemaine: Yeah. It's 'cause you and her used to go out, but also because of the thing with the light. She's thinking, "Oh this is a nice situation." But then, "Ugh, who-- who turned on the light?"
Bret: Yeah. Yeah, maybe. But I think it's mainly because her and I used to go out... for like six months.
Jemaine: Yeah, well -- yeah, it's mainly because you used to go out, but also mainly because of the whole situation with the light.
Bret: Yeah, but the last thing you want to see when you're hooking up is your ex in the same room.
Jemaine: Yeah, and you also don't want to be startled by a light, do you?

Murray: I've told you. When you are in a band, you don't get with your bandmate's girlfriend. Past or present.
Jemaine: Yes, well, thanks for that.
Murray: You get a love triangle, you know, a Fleetwood Mac situation. Although there was four of them, so more of a love square. But you know, no-one gets on.
Jemaine: Ok, I see.
Murray: Mind you, they did make some of their best music back then.
Bret: Rumours
Murray: No. No, it's all true

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