Two and a Half Men Recap: "Hello, I'm Alan Cousteau"

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On last night's episode of Two and a Half Men, we finally remember what this season has been lacking the last several episodes... Evelyn!  Charlie and Alan's mother was back and she was in perfect form.

Evelyn met Charlie's fiancee, Chelsea (Jennifer Taylor), for the first time ever and was quite shocked to find out her son got engaged and didn't even call her.  Chelsea, likewise, was quite disappointed in Charlie.

Evelyn Meets Chelsea

Find what happened when Chelsea and Evelyn decided to take matters into their own hands in our "Hello, I'm Alan Cousteau" recap.  Then enjoy some of our favorite Two and Half Men quotes from the episode:

Chelsea: You didn't tell your mom we were engaged?
Charlie: If she didn't sell me the house, she wouldn't know where I lived | permalink
Chelsea: What's wrong with me having a warm and a healthy relationship with your mother?
Charlie: For starters, you'll be the only one... ever!
Chelsea: Oh, don't be so dramatic
Charlie: I should be wearing tights and holding a skull... preferably hers | permalink
Charlie: Tell you what. I'll trade you, site unseen, my mom for yours
Chelsea: Charlie..
Charlie: I'll even throw in Alan and a couple of Omaha Steaks | permalink
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Two and a Half Men Quotes

Charlie: You're like an Alzheimer's patient in a whorehouse.
Alan: What do you mean?
Charlie: You're constantly surprised that you're getting screwed, and you don't want to pay for it

Yeah, hi. I'm watching your commercial cash for gold and you just showed a woman selling her wedding ring for $500. No, I don't want to sell gold, I want to meet her. She's hot and we know her marriage isn't working out.

Charlie