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Better Off Ted Recap: "Bioshuffle"

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We don't care how nice it is outside in the summer.  We're eternally grateful to ABC for bringing us new episodes of Better Off Ted and giving us an excuse to sit on our couches.

Last night's episode was one of the funniest in the series history, as we saw the whole office do a little shuffle when the company's biocomputer, Johnny, sprung a hazardous leak.

Linda Notices Something

The situation led to Ted office rooming with Linda and then Veronica, and a beautiful girl, Lucy, sharing an office with Lem.  Read our "Bioshuffle" recap to find out what happened.

Now read some of our favorite Better Off Ted quotes from the episode.

Phil: Why don't you go talk to her?
Lem: Talk to her? Would you talk to a rainbow or a sunset?
Phil: If I wanted to get it on with refracted light, I would.
Lem: If only I was a worm. i could cut myself in two and date my lower half.
Phil: We all wish we were worms, Lem, but that's never going to happen | permalink
Ted: Yes, a biocomputer. It's half machine, half living organism. If you think that sounds creepy, you should see it at feeding time. | permalink
Veronica: You did this, Phil. And to recognize your efforts, we're promoting you to Senior Lab Associate.
Phil: Oh, I was promoted to that a year ago.
Veronica: Really? You shouldn't have been. You probably owe the company some money. I'll check into that for you.
Phil: Thank you | permalink

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Better Off Ted Quotes

Okay, people, we need to turn this simple festive gourd into a killer. I've asked Dr. Bamba to take a look at how Nature does it, because Nature is a fantastic killer of things

Ted

Veronica: We want to weaponize a pumpkin.
Ted: Then so do I. Because?
Veronica: There's a country with whom we do business that grows a great deal of pumpkins and would welcome additional uses for them. As well as cheaper ways to kill their enemies.
Ted: Well, finally the pumpkin gets to do something besides Halloween.
Veronica: Pie.
Ted: Halloween and pie