Deal with it!

Phil and Lem

When you do care, you care one hundred and crazy percent.

Linda [to Veronica]

Do you know how many times I didn't get laid in college because girls don't like getting hissed at by a jealous possum?

If you tell anyone I did you a solid, I will tear off your head and tinkle in your skull!

Billy

That's right, once a month they send us a new cadaver whether we're finished with the old one or not.

Phil

Saddle up, Linda! And say goodbye to common sense.

Veronica

We can't leave work in the middle of the day. We're not Somali pirates.

Phil

The forest will run red with the blood of woodland creatures who doubted little Veronica and will now pay with their furry little lives.

Veronica

I had an aunt who fought a cow for beer money once. The cow never forgave her.

Linda

Hey, are those fresh nuts?

Billy

Bang zoom! I'm getting a muffin!

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Better Off Ted Quotes

Okay, people, we need to turn this simple festive gourd into a killer. I've asked Dr. Bamba to take a look at how Nature does it, because Nature is a fantastic killer of things

Ted

Veronica: We want to weaponize a pumpkin.
Ted: Then so do I. Because?
Veronica: There's a country with whom we do business that grows a great deal of pumpkins and would welcome additional uses for them. As well as cheaper ways to kill their enemies.
Ted: Well, finally the pumpkin gets to do something besides Halloween.
Veronica: Pie.
Ted: Halloween and pie

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