Deal with it!

Phil and Lem

When you do care, you care one hundred and crazy percent.

Linda [to Veronica]

Do you know how many times I didn't get laid in college because girls don't like getting hissed at by a jealous possum?

If you tell anyone I did you a solid, I will tear off your head and tinkle in your skull!


That's right, once a month they send us a new cadaver whether we're finished with the old one or not.


Saddle up, Linda! And say goodbye to common sense.


We can't leave work in the middle of the day. We're not Somali pirates.


The forest will run red with the blood of woodland creatures who doubted little Veronica and will now pay with their furry little lives.


I had an aunt who fought a cow for beer money once. The cow never forgave her.


Hey, are those fresh nuts?


Bang zoom! I'm getting a muffin!

The Veridian Foundation... helping the world then telling people about it makes us feel so good. The Veridian Foundation... Helping people. By telling people we're helping the world.


Better Off Ted Quotes

Janet: The company doesn't make mistakes.
Ted: What about that memo announcing "Casual Fribsday"?
Janet: The company said that wasn't a mistake. They explained that the ancient Mayans prophesied Fribsday--the first ever eighth day of the week which will occur in 2024. Which the company believes should be celebrated casually. I'm going to wear a denim pantsuit.
Ted: And when they urged all employees to "carpoop"?
Janet: That wasn't mandatory. Thank God.
Ted: Although we did find out what people would do to park slightly closer to the building.

Okay, people, we need to turn this simple festive gourd into a killer. I've asked Dr. Bamba to take a look at how Nature does it, because Nature is a fantastic killer of things