Family Guy Quotes: "Family Goy"

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In typical Family Guy fashion, last night's episode began with Peter having an affair with a Kathy Ireland cutout and somehow led to Lois finding out she's Jewish.

During the appropriastely named episode, "Family Goy," Lois was initially reluctant to change things and begin to accept her new religion, while Peter was all about it until the novelty wore off and his father's ghost told him to stop.

Peter the Jew

In the end, Lois decided not to switch religions, but not before we got some classic Family Guy quotes out of the episode.  Here's some of our favorites:

Chris: Hey dad, where you going with that cutout?
Peter: Oh hey kids, this is Kathy, we're designing lifestyle products together. It's completely legitimate, but don't tell your mother! | permalink
Lois: Peter, stop that! We're not having sex, I just told you I have a lump!
Peter: I have a lump too and mine's easier to get rid of | permalink
Lois: Mom, you're Jewish?
Barbara: I'm sorry we never told you dear, when we were married, your father made me conceal the fact so we could get into country clubs
| permalink
Meg: Mom, is sodomy illegal if you're Jewish?
Lois: I hope so meg, I really do
Peter: It's not, Lois.... it's not | permalink
Peter: This family believes in the Easter bunny. He died for our sins in that helicopter crash | permalink
Jesus: I am a Jew
Peter: Prove it. What's a 9% tip on a $200 dinner?
Jesus: It's $18, which is very fair | permalink

Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.

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Family Guy Quotes

Stewie: (Comes into the bedroom) Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!
Lois: What!?
Stewie: Hi! (Giggling and running out of the room)

How you uh, how you comin' on that novel you're working on? Huh? Gotta a big, uh, big stack of papers there? Gotta, gotta nice little story you're working on there? Your big novel you've been working on for 3 years? Huh? Gotta, gotta compelling protagonist? Yeah? Gotta obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Gotta story brewing there? Working on, working on that for quite some time? Huh? Yea, talking about that 3 years ago. Been working on that the whole time? Nice little narrative? Beginning, middle, and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? At the end your main character is richer from the experience? Yeah? Yeah? No, no, you deserve some time off

Stewie