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Family Guy Quotes: "Family Goy"

by at . Comments

In typical Family Guy fashion, last night's episode began with Peter having an affair with a Kathy Ireland cutout and somehow led to Lois finding out she's Jewish.

During the appropriastely named episode, "Family Goy," Lois was initially reluctant to change things and begin to accept her new religion, while Peter was all about it until the novelty wore off and his father's ghost told him to stop.

Peter the Jew

In the end, Lois decided not to switch religions, but not before we got some classic Family Guy quotes out of the episode.  Here's some of our favorites:

Chris: Hey dad, where you going with that cutout?
Peter: Oh hey kids, this is Kathy, we're designing lifestyle products together. It's completely legitimate, but don't tell your mother! | permalink
Lois: Peter, stop that! We're not having sex, I just told you I have a lump!
Peter: I have a lump too and mine's easier to get rid of | permalink
Lois: Mom, you're Jewish?
Barbara: I'm sorry we never told you dear, when we were married, your father made me conceal the fact so we could get into country clubs
| permalink
Meg: Mom, is sodomy illegal if you're Jewish?
Lois: I hope so meg, I really do
Peter: It's not, Lois.... it's not | permalink
Peter: This family believes in the Easter bunny. He died for our sins in that helicopter crash | permalink
Jesus: I am a Jew
Peter: Prove it. What's a 9% tip on a $200 dinner?
Jesus: It's $18, which is very fair | permalink

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why does peter say that the eastern bunny died in a helicopter crash?

Family Guy Quotes

Stewie: (Comes into the bedroom) Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!
Lois: What!?
Stewie: Hi! (Giggling and running out of the room)

Hi, I'm Wilford Brimley and I have diabetes. It hurts me to pee and it causes me to be short with my family. I can't sleep at night. The other day I stubbed my toe and took it out on the dog. And two weeks ago I ran out of vanilla ice cream and struck my wife. Then I find out my wife has been dead for six years. Who the hell did I hit?

Wilford Brimley