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Best of Family Guy Season Six Quotes

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You knew you were in for a good season when Family Guy's sixth season opened with the hour long Star Wars parody, "Blue Harvest."   After that, season six, although a shortened seaosn, still had plenty of memorable episodes.

Family Guy Star Wars

We had the two part matricide adventure in "Stewie Kills Lois," saw Peter being deported, watched Peter fight an evil fast-food corporation with the help of a talking cow, met Brian's illegitimate child, and even witnessed James Woods steal Peter's identity.

Now's your chance to relive these episodes with our collection of season six quotes.  Don't worry, we've also compiled a list of our personal favorite Family Guy quotes from the season for those of you short on time:

Chris (Luke): R2, what are you doing out here?
Cleveland (R2-D2): Beep boop beep.
Quagmire (C-3PO): He says there are several creatures approaching from the southeast.
Cleveland (R2-D2): That's not what I said. I said there ain't a pack of menthols on this planet. | permalink
Chris (Luke): Well, I guess I'll go bulls-eye some womp rats in my T-16.
Quagmire (C-3PO): My god, you shoot small animals for fun? That's the first indicator of a serial killer, ya freak.
Chris (Luke): There's two suns and no women, what the hell am I supposed to do? | permalink
Dr. Hartman: I'm sorry Mayor McCheese, but I'm not sure if any cosmetic surgery is even possible.
Mayor McCheese: Look, if it's a financial issue...
Dr. Hartman: Well it's not an issue of money, your head is a cheeseburger. There is no blood flow to it, it's just dead cow meat.
Mayor McCheese: Alright, well, I appreciate you giving it to me straight.
Dr. Hartman: Alright then, have a tasty afternoon.
Mayor McCheese: (laughs slighly)
Dr. Hartman: Ah, there's a smile. | permalink
Meg: Wait a minute. Chris are you clapping?
Chris: Yeah.
Lois: So your hands are free.
Chris: Yeah.
Lois: Stewie didn't tie up your hands.
Chris: No he must've forgot.
Lois: You realize we've been sitting here for 14 hours.
Chris: Well get pissy if you want, Mom. I've enjoyed the time we've had as a family. | permalink
Carter: What's going on here?
Peter: We're taking what's ours! Actually, we're taking what's yours, but we don't think you deserve it, so we're calling it ours and taking it! | permalink
Chris: I can set you up with one of my friends. Oh wait, I don't have any friends. Well I can set you up with dad! Dad, will you be interested in dating Meg? | permalink
Lois: Peter, someone's been using your credit card!
Peter: Lois, I hear what you're saying, but like my credit card, I have a very low rate of interest. | permalink
Meg: No offense, Mr. Herbert, but I'm a seventeen year old girl, and I have no need for you.
Herbert: Well, no offense to you Meg, but you're a seventeen year old girl, and I have no need for YOU. | permalink
Brian: Gosh, this is a... lovely home Tracy.
Stewie: That's so weird. It smells like there's a cat, but I bet there's no cat. | permalink
Stewie: Say Brian, now that I think about it, how can you possibly have a thirteen year old son, when you yourself are only seven?
Brian: Well, those are dog years.
Stewie: That doesn't make any sense.
Brian: You know what Stewie, If you don't like it, go on the internet and complain. | permalink
Peter: Give it to me straight Doctor Jewish; Is he gonna live?
Dr. Jewish: Mister Griffin, I'm afraid that your Parrot is dead.
Peter: Noooo! Did he at least die with dignity?
Dr. Jewish: Well, he convulsed a lot and fell off the operating table. Then he flopped around a little on the floor, then a passing nurse accidentally stepped on him and kicked him into a puddle of urine, which must have frightened him because his bowels released all over himself. I tried to pick him up, but then, I got angry because some of it got on my thumb. So I threw him against the wall, and that's where he died.
Peter: That's the way I wanna go. | permalink
Lois: Peter, did you tell Chris to act like a jerk to this girl?
Peter: Um, define "Chris". | permalink

Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.

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