South Park

Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy Central
South park
TV Fanatic Works Better with Prime Instant Video
40,000 other titles are available to watch now.

Best of South Park Season Three Quotes

by at . Comments

So come on down to South Park and read some quotes of ours.  We've just finished adding the third season of South Park quotes, and boy did this season have some of our favorite episodes.

Whether it was South Park mocking episode 1 of Star Wars with "Jackovasaurus" or Cartman's S'more Schnapps fueled army marching across America in "The Red Badge of Gayness" just so he could win a bet, this is easily one of our favorite seasons.

Cartman as General Lee

So now comes the tough part for us.  Picking our editor's picks of our favorite quotes from the 284 South Park season three quotes we added to the system. 

No, it wasn't easy having to read through that many quotes and laugh as hard as we did.  But don't worry, you'll have your chance to do the same once you go over our favorite South Park quotes below:

Ms. Stevens: I'm leaving some pamphlets up here on the desk if anyone is interested.
Cartman: Oh good. We could use some more toilet paper. | permalink
Father Maxi: Boys, I haven't seen you in church lately.
Kyle: Well, I'm Jewish.
Father Maxi: You're not too Jewish to worship Jesus, are you? | permalink
Cartman: I swear if you call me 'Piggy' one more time, I will rip your balls off with my bare hands!
Eye doctor: Piggy. | permalink
Mr. Adler: You are here because you are America's future. You may someday be doctors, or lawyers, or scientists. Most of you, however, will be pumping gas or cutting sheet metal. And that's why we have shop class. | permalink
Sexual Harassment Panda: When one little panda sticks his winkie in another little panda's ear... that's sexual harassment. That makes me a saaaad panda. | permalink
Mr Garrison: Now does anyone know what sexual harassment means? (Cartman raises his hand) Yes Eric?
Cartman: When you're trying to have intercourse with a lady friend, and some other guy comes up and tickles your balls from behind. | permalink
Liane: The babysitter's here, come on downstairs.
Cartman: But, Mo-om, I'm playing Wild, Wild We-est!
Liane: I have to leave soon, Eric.
Cartman: But Ma-a-am! Me and Artemus Clyde Frog still have to do our love scene with Selma Hyea-a-ak! | permalink
Moses: I demand macaroni pictures. | permalink
Chinpokomon Executive: You are American.
South Park Toy Store Owner: Yes.
Chinpokomon Executive: Ohhh, you must have very big penis!
South Park Toy Store Owner: Excuse me, I was just asking you what your up to with these toys.
Chinpokomon Executive: Nothing, we are very simple people with very small penis. Mr. Hosik's penis is especially small!
Mr. Hosik: So small.
Chinpokomon Executive: We cannot achieve so much with such small penis, but you American wow, penis so big, so big penis!
South Park Toy Store Owner: Well aah I guess it is pretty good size. | permalink
Cartman's Letter: I will not rest until the South have won, and Stan and Kyle are my slaves, because I hate those guys. I hate those guys with every part of my tired Confederate body. | permalink
Jesus: Father, everyone is starting to pay attention to me again because of the new millennium. I-I'm kinda making a comeback!
God: Yea, like John Travolta before you, you are experiencing a second revival. | permalink
Stan: What's Arkansas? Is that a state? | permalink

Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.

Tags:

South Park Quotes

It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a woman's separation, this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation.

</i> Cartman

James Cameron doesn't do what James Cameron does for James Cameron. James Cameron does what James Cameron does because James Cameron is James Cameron!

James Cameron
× Close Ad