Jersey Shore Review: "Sleeping with the Enemy"
While everyone was waiting for the ultimate moment when Vinny and Angelina hooked up on the aptly named "Sleeping with the Enemy," there was still plenty more to watch and discuss about last night's Jersey Shore.
First off, the episode opened with the continuation of last week's amazing catfight between Sammi and Jenni. As The Situation put it, it's like Sammi slew the beast. It was like getting a tie against Mayweather (without the domestic violence).
Besides getting amazing analysis by the guys and non-stop bragging by Sammi, we also got to watch the ending in which Vinny and Ronnie nearly came to blows. The most impressive part? Ronnie put aside his roid rage to apologize to Vinny.
In addition to milking out the fight into two episodes, our friends at the Jersey Shore had plenty of the smushing we come for week in and week out. Our smush of the week definitely goes to Snooki and her man Dennis.
Despite hating his name, she certainly loved a lot more about the guy. I mean she was willing to lotion her butt just to make sure he put it in. Leave it to JS to give us so many ways to describe having sex.
Speak of slang for getting it on, did anyone else notice The Situation referred to smushing in the past tense as smashed? In an effort to capture the best Jersey Shore quotes, we must have re-watched The Situation's analysis of Jose's gift for Angelina a million times to catch it.
So please, someone tell us if we're wrong, cause if not, all of our past exploits will now be referred to as smashed.
Also getting laid this week was Vinny... twice. First taking a girl home from Tantra and then taking the enemy (Angelina) home from MI-VI. Impressive and when you combine that with smashing with Snooki, it's worth of a trip to the doctor.
Now what kind of review would we be if we didn't give Pauly D a nod for doing his part for sexual education for today's youth? Thank you for explaining the dangers of a herpe and its ability to ruin a party. Extra thank you to MTV for only blurring the girl's face and not the giant sore.
Now for just some of our favorite quotes from the Staten Island, err Jersey crew:
Jenni: I'm drinking my horny goat weed. I'm gonna masturbate and I'm going to bed. | permalink
Pauly D: I've never seen the kitchen this bad. There's hair extensions, there's finger nails, there's like a tuna fish sandwich on the ground. It's like World War III went down last night. It's crazy! | permalink
Pauly D: Is there any more turkey sandwich? | permalink
Pauly D: There's nothing like a nice herpe to ruin a party. | permalink
Snooki: I'm not white.
Jenni: What are you?
Snooki: Tan. | permalink
Snooki: FYI, I'm not cooking tacos tonight. | permalink
Snooki: I'm very excited for him to come over and you know, get it in. | permalink
Vinny: Ok, Kim Kardashian. More like the Rob Kardashian of Staten Island. | permalink
Jersey Shore: "Sleeping with the Enemy"
Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.