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CSI Review: WTF?!?

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So far this season, CSI has forced viewers to suffer through plots such as sharks in public pools and vampire beheadings by werewolves. Along those ridiculous lines, "Sqweegel" just threw more gasoline on to the fires of stupidity.

This week’s episode was so bad I am actually at a loss for where to start. The only fair way to begin is with the one part of the show that I liked, that being Ann Margret as Margot Wilton. Margret still looks good and her interactions with Langston were very well done.

Ann-Margaret on CSI

With those two minutes out of the way, we can now look at the other 40 minutes, or as I like to call it “40 minutes of my life that CBS owes me.” I am just going to break this down one at a time:

First and foremost: the killer’s name. He is referred to by the little girl witness as “Sqweegel." Brass tried to say it’s the noise made by the car washer blades against the car. It would be more believable to say the writers had just finished a Lord of the Rings marathon and decided they wanted a Smeagol of their very own.

Wait, let’s not forget the name he left on a receipt: Ian Moone, which Ray quickly figured out was an anagram for “I am no one.”  Oye.

Then we have Smeagol, er.. Sqweegel, wearing a suit of patent leather from head to toe. I won’t argue the trope that he doesn’t leave evidence behind. However, wearing a full suit of leather and hiding in the back of an SUV (in the tire well) in the desert is beyond stupid.

Pets have died when they are left in cars with the windows open.  He would have died of heat stroke in minutes. Actually, that would have been a more believable case for the team, “How did this leather clad corpse get stuffed into the tire well?”

Ignoring the name and the costume, I just did not get why he was walking foot/hand, hand/foot. What was the frakking point? I also sat with one eyebrow raised the entire time he was getting Margret to confess as he kept twisting around for no reason at all. Seriously, wasn’t the full leather suit with a zipper for the mouth freaky enough?  Have the writers ever heard the term “less is more?”

The writing also fell apart around the character of Ray Fink, the firebug paramedic that turned up dead. I knew the moment he said hello to Nick that he was either going to die or be the killer, as the CSI team never stops to chat with “random paramedic #1” without it being part of the plot. Honestly they should have just put him in a red shirt from the beginning. Ray being another victim of Sqweegel, completely off stage, just points out the huge hole in the plot of: “one death does not make a serial killer.”

Sqweegel Scene

What truly made this episode one of the worst ever? Langston. First, he started discussing the “Hourglass of Evidence” as if the others have never heard of it. Isn’t Ray the newest member to CSI? Wouldn’t the rest of the team be teaching him this lesson?

Second, Ray is supposed to be a medical doctor. What doctor is going to take hour’s old stitches out of a huge gash to take pictures? Anyone who has every had stitches (especially anyone who has torn a stitch out) will tell you that there is no way a doctor would have risked opening the wound again being by taking the stitches out just to get a picture of the cut without them.

Again, we had no sign of our new bomb tech and it looks like they have replaced the bomber as a recurring bad guy with Sqweegel, given they didn’t catch him. I am baffled by the writing the season. At the rate this show is going, it may be my final season watching.

Review

Editor Rating: 2.9 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 4.3 / 5.0 (135 Votes)

Jim G. is a TV Fanatic Staff Writer. Follow him on Twitter.

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    42 Comments New Comment Subscribe

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    So dense. Sqweegel is already an established character based off an interactive book series called level 26. Everything about him is taken directly from that and the only difference is the colour of his latex.

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    We actually thoght sara and grissom might have happy end in series 13 .Now that thier going split up we not be wacth series 13. we find difficult to wacth csi now that grisson and sara split up .my first angry thoughts are to writers taking prefect lovestory and give it sad end.thier are destoying the 10 year romance beween grissom and sara.peterson william and jorjar fox wos woundful in csi. why did thier kill warrick of.

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    Most of your points are just based off of your lack of attention when watching this episode. The reason that he walks that way and the reason he twists his neck and such is because he is meant to be a contortionist. They twist their bodies in extreme ways with ease. He does it because that's his signature. He is mentally unstable, so it isn't far fetched that he would choose to walk in a strange way. Also, if you had been actually paying attention, you would know that the suit is latex, not leather. To address how unrealistic you think the episode is, it's television. Of course it isn't going to be 100% realistic. If you haven't learned that by now, that's just sad.

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    Great episode - I was genuinely spooked to see him walk. Reviewer talks crap.
    More episodes to catch Squeewgel a must. :)

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    REVIEWER IS SO STUPID..
    IF YOU WANT TO STOP WATCHING THEN STOP
    AND STOP COMPLAINING

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    Are they going to do any more episodes to catch this guy?

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    I personally LOVED this episode and I hope they do more episodes of Sqweegle!!!!

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    Perhaps, you should find another way to occupy your time. Read a book, go for a walk, rather than watch a lenghty television program and then seek the internet to express your opinions.

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    Mint episode. Reviewer talking crap

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    Also now that I think about it I'm pretty sure its latex he's wearing not leather.




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