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CSI Review: WTF?!?

by at . Comments

So far this season, CSI has forced viewers to suffer through plots such as sharks in public pools and vampire beheadings by werewolves. Along those ridiculous lines, "Sqweegel" just threw more gasoline on to the fires of stupidity.

This week’s episode was so bad I am actually at a loss for where to start. The only fair way to begin is with the one part of the show that I liked, that being Ann Margret as Margot Wilton. Margret still looks good and her interactions with Langston were very well done.

Ann-Margaret on CSI

With those two minutes out of the way, we can now look at the other 40 minutes, or as I like to call it “40 minutes of my life that CBS owes me.” I am just going to break this down one at a time:

First and foremost: the killer’s name. He is referred to by the little girl witness as “Sqweegel." Brass tried to say it’s the noise made by the car washer blades against the car. It would be more believable to say the writers had just finished a Lord of the Rings marathon and decided they wanted a Smeagol of their very own.

Wait, let’s not forget the name he left on a receipt: Ian Moone, which Ray quickly figured out was an anagram for “I am no one.”  Oye.

Then we have Smeagol, er.. Sqweegel, wearing a suit of patent leather from head to toe. I won’t argue the trope that he doesn’t leave evidence behind. However, wearing a full suit of leather and hiding in the back of an SUV (in the tire well) in the desert is beyond stupid.

Pets have died when they are left in cars with the windows open.  He would have died of heat stroke in minutes. Actually, that would have been a more believable case for the team, “How did this leather clad corpse get stuffed into the tire well?”

Ignoring the name and the costume, I just did not get why he was walking foot/hand, hand/foot. What was the frakking point? I also sat with one eyebrow raised the entire time he was getting Margret to confess as he kept twisting around for no reason at all. Seriously, wasn’t the full leather suit with a zipper for the mouth freaky enough?  Have the writers ever heard the term “less is more?”

The writing also fell apart around the character of Ray Fink, the firebug paramedic that turned up dead. I knew the moment he said hello to Nick that he was either going to die or be the killer, as the CSI team never stops to chat with “random paramedic #1” without it being part of the plot. Honestly they should have just put him in a red shirt from the beginning. Ray being another victim of Sqweegel, completely off stage, just points out the huge hole in the plot of: “one death does not make a serial killer.”

Sqweegel Scene

What truly made this episode one of the worst ever? Langston. First, he started discussing the “Hourglass of Evidence” as if the others have never heard of it. Isn’t Ray the newest member to CSI? Wouldn’t the rest of the team be teaching him this lesson?

Second, Ray is supposed to be a medical doctor. What doctor is going to take hour’s old stitches out of a huge gash to take pictures? Anyone who has every had stitches (especially anyone who has torn a stitch out) will tell you that there is no way a doctor would have risked opening the wound again being by taking the stitches out just to get a picture of the cut without them.

Again, we had no sign of our new bomb tech and it looks like they have replaced the bomber as a recurring bad guy with Sqweegel, given they didn’t catch him. I am baffled by the writing the season. At the rate this show is going, it may be my final season watching.

Review

Editor Rating: 2.9 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 4.3 / 5.0 (137 Votes)

Jim G. is a TV Fanatic Staff Writer. Follow him on Twitter.

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This was the most amazing show/episode!! The added details the sqweegels movements added to the bizarre plot, which put many viewers at the edge of their seats. Although I appreciate opinions on both sides of a coin...I can honestly say that the outfit and characteristics of the characters made me sleep with the lights on that night..waiting for the the next episode...does anyone know when that will be?

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I just caught this episode as a rerun and went onlibe to see if later episode's revealed the killer's identity. I started reading your review, was laughing so hard that I was crying, then read it out loud to my spouse, who had also just watched abd cried too. brilliant.

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This had to be the best CSI episode I've ever watched. The leather suit, the zips and the way "Ian Moone" moves they all just add to the creepy detail of the story line and give an insite to the characters mental health. As for the realisticness of it all... its a TV show not real life the CSI in real life don't charge people but they do in the show. Every show has its flaws but the acting was brilliant and so was the tension building. They are obviously gonna do some thing big when they decide to follow up on this. For those that didn't like this one then stop complaining all you have to do is turn the channel over. Really its not hard to do.

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I thnk it was one of the best episode . It's scary and eye catching it leaves u wanting more.can't wait for a sequel

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This episode was used to introduce the character of Sqweegel who is the main character within Anthony E.Zuiker's book series Level 26. In the book Sqweegel has the same manorisms which he uses in order to scare his victims, the suit is due to no forensic evidence, but had you have bothered to have found out a bit about the character before writing this you'ld know that already.

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I loved this episode and I hope they follow it up soon!

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Come on. Get real. if it wasted 40mins of your time. you shouldn't have bothered to write this review. because most of the people who will read this must have watched the show already. Giving negative feedbacks on a show episode that have already been watched by many, as you wrote this, is kinda on the whining side and pointless. NOW you're giving CBS your time on writing this. citing most books you have read probably inspired the writers. giving twists to what others and you read as character to one to many book. aint it cool to see some of your favorite tv actors play bad guys? why not see fictional characters as another character? giving them a "level up" on creativity.

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This was only aired in the UK last week & to mind one of the best CSI episodes ever - I really don't get your review at all - perhaps you should stick to the turgid, pointless episodes of CSI Miami

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First off why should the viewers need to read some book to understand a character in a tv show? Second doesn anyone else think Squeegal's appearance/mannerism look ALOT like Venom in the new spider man movie? Thirdly not finishing the story is just lame. If you want people to go buy the book right one good enough that it gains merit on it's own.. don't throw teasers into a TV show so people have to go out and buy your book to find out what happened. That's just lame. (episode descriptions don't mention "Squeegal" at all the rest of this season)

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seriously i don't know what your all complaining about this has to be one of the best episodes i have seen i was creeped out the whole way through it was a good concept and has sooo much potential i really cant wait to find out who it is and why sqweegel is the way he is. i have never been so glued to the screen than with this episode. as for the similar story to nicks stalker, be realistic of course they can revisit a similar story to make it more in tune with the real world other victims will have stalkers just because nick had on does that mean noooo other person in the world or a victim on the show cant have one because its tooo similar. you dont like the show anymore its simple switch off and let the true die hard fans watch it in peace

CSI Season 11 Episode 4 Quotes

Greg: After you.
Catherine: I don't do attics, I am dirty enough.

Catherine: Two picture's with carved out faces and an upside down award.
Langston: It's up to us to make it right side up.