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CSI Review: WTF?!?

by at . Comments

So far this season, CSI has forced viewers to suffer through plots such as sharks in public pools and vampire beheadings by werewolves. Along those ridiculous lines, "Sqweegel" just threw more gasoline on to the fires of stupidity.

This week’s episode was so bad I am actually at a loss for where to start. The only fair way to begin is with the one part of the show that I liked, that being Ann Margret as Margot Wilton. Margret still looks good and her interactions with Langston were very well done.

Ann-Margaret on CSI

With those two minutes out of the way, we can now look at the other 40 minutes, or as I like to call it “40 minutes of my life that CBS owes me.” I am just going to break this down one at a time:

First and foremost: the killer’s name. He is referred to by the little girl witness as “Sqweegel." Brass tried to say it’s the noise made by the car washer blades against the car. It would be more believable to say the writers had just finished a Lord of the Rings marathon and decided they wanted a Smeagol of their very own.

Wait, let’s not forget the name he left on a receipt: Ian Moone, which Ray quickly figured out was an anagram for “I am no one.”  Oye.

Then we have Smeagol, er.. Sqweegel, wearing a suit of patent leather from head to toe. I won’t argue the trope that he doesn’t leave evidence behind. However, wearing a full suit of leather and hiding in the back of an SUV (in the tire well) in the desert is beyond stupid.

Pets have died when they are left in cars with the windows open.  He would have died of heat stroke in minutes. Actually, that would have been a more believable case for the team, “How did this leather clad corpse get stuffed into the tire well?”

Ignoring the name and the costume, I just did not get why he was walking foot/hand, hand/foot. What was the frakking point? I also sat with one eyebrow raised the entire time he was getting Margret to confess as he kept twisting around for no reason at all. Seriously, wasn’t the full leather suit with a zipper for the mouth freaky enough?  Have the writers ever heard the term “less is more?”

The writing also fell apart around the character of Ray Fink, the firebug paramedic that turned up dead. I knew the moment he said hello to Nick that he was either going to die or be the killer, as the CSI team never stops to chat with “random paramedic #1” without it being part of the plot. Honestly they should have just put him in a red shirt from the beginning. Ray being another victim of Sqweegel, completely off stage, just points out the huge hole in the plot of: “one death does not make a serial killer.”

Sqweegel Scene

What truly made this episode one of the worst ever? Langston. First, he started discussing the “Hourglass of Evidence” as if the others have never heard of it. Isn’t Ray the newest member to CSI? Wouldn’t the rest of the team be teaching him this lesson?

Second, Ray is supposed to be a medical doctor. What doctor is going to take hour’s old stitches out of a huge gash to take pictures? Anyone who has every had stitches (especially anyone who has torn a stitch out) will tell you that there is no way a doctor would have risked opening the wound again being by taking the stitches out just to get a picture of the cut without them.

Again, we had no sign of our new bomb tech and it looks like they have replaced the bomber as a recurring bad guy with Sqweegel, given they didn’t catch him. I am baffled by the writing the season. At the rate this show is going, it may be my final season watching.

Review

Editor Rating: 2.9 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 4.3 / 5.0 (137 Votes)

Jim G. is a TV Fanatic Staff Writer. Follow him on Twitter.

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I can't believe people could critisize this episode! CSI is the whole reason I want to become a forensic pathologist. I only hope that one day I can experience some creepy stuff like this! IT'S AWESOME! I kept one eye closed... this episode brought me to chills. I can't wait to find out what happens next but until than i just keep watching this episode over and over until im used to the fact that someone could do something like this.

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I can't believe people could critisize this episode! CSI is the whole reason I want to become a forensic pathologist. I only hope that one day I can experience some creepy stuff like this! IT'S AWESOME! I kept one eye closed... this episode brought me to chills. I can't wait to find out what happens next but until than i just keep watching this episode over and over until im used to the fact that someone could do something like this.

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Im a new CSi guy. I caught the shark episode, yeah dumb. But I love this Ian Moone guy. I cant waitto find out his story. I think hthats where it all lays. Would love to see what his issue is. Thy shoul start with all the advanced yoga guys in the area. LOL

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It's Smeagol and it want's the Precious.

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Ah c'mon dude you being ridiculous. It was an awesome episode and I want to see more! "just did not get why he was walking foot/hand, hand/foot. What was the frakking point? I also sat with one eyebrow raised the entire time he was getting Margret to confess as he kept twisting around for no reason at all." He is insane! a psycho! what more do you want. He's not going to act normal.

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you guys are all really thick, and im honestly surprised that the reviewer who seems to be such an avid-fan of CSI, took no time to do his homework. Sqweegel is the main serial killer character in Anthony Zuckers book Level 26,and this was intended as a sort of crossover promo to hype his sequel novel. Do your fudgin homework bro, more than half of the stuff you said that seems "random" would have made sense if you had put it into the context of Zuikers novels

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You people need to lighten up. It's a freaking TV show!!! It's not meant to be some great work of art, it's there for entertainment and entertainment only. After 10+ seasons, I bet original material that you all would be proud of is hard to find. Why don't you critics get off your butts and write a mindblowing script for CSI. I'm sure they would love to hear from you. And for those of you who Smeagol is, I hope you're all 14 year olds, otherwise you have no reason to criticize a show for being too weird. You've obviously dedicated many hours to watching weird (L of the R's) shows, so what's one more hour of your life? For those of you threatening to quit watching the show, please do. We don't need some snobby art critics turning what's supposed to be a fun show into a review of the latest off broadway play that only "cultured" fans can appreciate. I LOVED THE SHOW!!! Bring on more Sqweegel!!!!

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After guest appearances by Justin Bieber, Holly Madison, and Andy Dick, I was sure that I had seen the worst from CSI Season 11. "Sqweegel" was by far the most convoluted and badly done story I have seen from CSI thus far. One major thing struck me as being unforgivable: they've already done this story! I'm sure we will never forget the "Stalker" episode where an obsessed serial killer lives in the attics of his victims and eventually targets Nick Stokes. In "Sqweegel", Catherine even makes a quick reference to the fact that Nick has had experience with this type of killer. Does Catherine mentioning their laziness and lack of new ideas somehow make it okay? Once I realized that they had become so out of ideas that they were going to do an episode this closely resembling a very memorable past episode I knew it was over. I actually feel pretty badly for Anthony Zuiker because after watching this episode I have no desire to read his book because of the bad taste that "Sqweegel" left in my mouth. I am very hopeful that somehow they turn this season around, but I wont count on it.

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While I do miss Grissom...and it is pretty silly...I loved the episode! I thought that the bad guy was uber creepy and was upset that it wasn't a back to back so that I could find out what was with the guy!

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As a viewer who has watched each CSI franchise program (with the exception of CSI: L.A.) from the beginning, and who has lived for more years than I would care to speak of, I find it difficult to watch a series move steadily downward on the scales of writing, authenticity, glaring prop mistakes, dialogue and story arcs. My first angry thoughts are directed at CSI (Las Vegas). This series has had such powerful actors and energy. While all were good, I think most would agree that William Petersen was the real glue that held the program together. "Grissom" had the quiet voice of experience and reason. When he left, it would have seemed logical to see the whole direction of the story lines and interactions between the characters change also. Rather, we have continuing story lines of "been there - done that". With a careful shift of actors and bringing "Dr. Langston" on board it could have built up steadily by allowing the others to show more wisdom and experience in teaching Langston what he needed to know. Instead, he almost seems to be teaching them what needs to be done. Purely silly!! Enough said - I just want to see the same stellar quality of programming I used to enjoy.

CSI Season 11 Episode 4 Quotes

Greg: After you.
Catherine: I don't do attics, I am dirty enough.

Catherine: Two picture's with carved out faces and an upside down award.
Langston: It's up to us to make it right side up.