Welcome back, Upper East Siders, to another edition of TVF's Gossip Girl Round Table, where our panel reflects on the events of Monday's episode, "Touch of Eva."
Below, Gossip Guy and Mister Meester and critic-in-chief DANdy take on topics ranging from Danessa and Juliet's agenda to Eva's exit and the upcoming war ...
1. What was your favorite Gossip Girl quote from last night?
Gossip Guy: Haha, Bassian bubble.
Mister Meester: The obvious: "So you did it just to hurt me. Eva made me into someone I was proud to be. You just brought back my worst self. This means war, Blair ... Me versus you. No limits." The less obvious: "You were just so easy in Paris." Too good.
DANdy: Serena turning Blair's name into a verb. Who among us hasn't been tempted to go off Blair Waldorfing at times?
2. Eva plot hole of the night: Dan finding out her past via Google search, B's quest to ruin Eva in the first place, or her splitting town after Chuck doubted her for 10 whole minutes?
Gossip Guy: Can we just declare the whole story like a hole and pretend like it never existed? At least it should lead to a fun war between Chair and the eventual reconciliation that any war between them will inevitably lead to.
Mister Meester: All of the above and more? First of all, Dan searches for Prague brothels just because, and Eva's real name and photo are on there? Just ridiculous. Slightly less absurd, but still problematic for me is this: Eva lied to Chuck and he repaid her with $5 million. He doubts her intentions for 10 minutes and she just bails? Iffy writing. Also, Chuck cavorts with hookers all the time! Why would he care if Eva worked in the world's oldest profession? Come on B.
DANdy: The Google search. Come on. We all know people in The CW universe only use Bing.3. Would you have preferred Derena together, and will Danessa last?
Gossip Guy: Obviously I'd prefer anything that didn't end in 'essa, even that anything includes a mild case of incest.
Mister Meester: I may be in the minority in saying I think Dan and Vanessa are cute together, but I still think cooling it with co-habitation is smart. When you're calling your live-in girlfriend "mom," you're probably not ready for it. As for Derena, those two make out enough in real life as it is. Better to mix it up on the show with some new peeps.
DANdy: No and no. Dan needs to be single for awhile. Can he borrow your black book, Chuck? I'd like to see this confused fella drop the nicknames and enjoy time as Dan the Man for awhile.
HIGH EXPECTATIONS: Katie Cassidy's guest role had better be worth it!
4. Seriously, what is Juliet's deal?
Gossip Guy: I don't know, but I really hope the Gossip Girl writers have a better plan for her than that Eva nonsense. I do not approve of bringing in someone as hot and scheming as Juliet to just let her fizzle out in a couple episodes.
Mister Meester: Based on Gossip Girl spoilers and previews for next week, My guess is she's behind the blast even Serena can't believe, and this is building toward an epic confrontation between Juliet and the entire gang. Something's gotta tie all of them together again, right? Eventually, it must. Here's hoping it's worth the wait.
DANdy: She seems like she was once well-off, perhaps residing in some sort of L.A.-based apartment complex with a pool and an influx of shady neighbors. But when that living situation vanished, she was forced to start over again in NYC.
5. As Chuck says, this is war. Who will win?
Gossip Guy: Now that we know Blair Waldorfing can be used as a verb, I'm pretty sure I can safely say that Chuck is going to get the Blair the hell Waldorfed out of him. Hmm, that didn't make sense...
Mister Meester: Chuck. He now hates Blair even more than himself. Not good.
DANdy: In a word: Viewers.
What do you think? Sound off in the comments, and vote below!