Gossip Girl Round Table: "Juliet Doesn't Live Here Anymore"

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Welcome back to another edition of TVF's Gossip Girl Round Table, where our panel breaks down Monday's show (see our review of the episode earlier this morning).

Below, Gossip Girl expert Mister Meester joins critic-in-chef DANdy and TVF shot-caller Gossip Guy to discuss hot topics from "Juliet Doesn't Life Here Anymore" ...

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1. What was your favorite Gossip Girl quote from last night?

Gossip Guy: As good as all of the Chair references to sex were, I'm going to give it to Blair's jab at Juliet, "Well you can believe the part where she does her own hair."

Mister Meester: It's hard to pick a favorite, but the Gossip Girl quotes were what made this my favorite episode of the fall. Blair had me laughing left and right with her many putdowns and pop culture references, and there's something about raspy-voiced Chuck waxing philosophical about waxing Blair that I find hilariously dirty. If I have to pick just one, I'll go with the dean, asking Vanessa what we've all wondered for years: "Who are you?"

DANdy: There were many gems from which to choose, but gonna go with Dorota's warning to Chuck. If the KGB can't break her, this powerful Upper East Sider has no chance.

GG RT Logo

2. Have we seen the last of Colin or Ben?

Gossip Guy: Afraid so. This is Gossip Girl, where apparently they like to bring in characters, make elaborate story lines and schemes, only to have them fizzle out. Hopefully, they'll at least go the way of Aaron Rose and give us the occasional funny reference. Hey, and they left us with by far their most attractive family member, Juliet.

Mister Meester: They still have to reveal why Ben is in jail and blames Serena for it, right? My guess is that's still to come this season. Colin? He's probably gone for good, but not before earning the distinction of being one of the few Serena love interests NOT to hit that.

DANdy: Yes. Waldo has a better chance of popping up on a future episode that either of these random cuties.

3. For old times' sake, rate last night on the Vanessa uselessness scale (1-10, 10 being the most useless).

Gossip Guy: Aww. Come on, Mister Meester. Why would you bring back the Uselessness Scale on me now. How about last week when we literally just cut to a shot of her in the apartment!? I'll go back a week and give her a 24. This week? Only 9, 'cause I can't wait to watch them fail to take down the NJBC.

Mister MeesterI'm going with five. Sure, her actions had an impact last night, but in terms of perpetrating a diabolical scheme, man she is useless.

DANdy: She clearly was not useless. Annoying, petty and clothed? Absolutely. But the episode made actual use of her character at least.

Dan H. Pic

LONELY BOY RETURNS: Dan found himself on the outs last night.

4. Which couple would you prefer to see together, Serenate or Derena?

Gossip Guy: As pretty as Serenate is, I still prefer the chemistry of the incestuous Derena. Very upset when the creepy, dense man-bangs didn't take a hint from his ignored call and showed up. Come on, even an idiot like Nate would know that under four rings, the girl ignored you.

Mister Meester: Derenate? Hey, he's got experience with threesomes.

DANdy: Derena. If only for the awkwardness of Blake and Penn having to make out even though they're now broken up. I'm so cruel, I know.

5. Non-Judging Breakfast Club vs. The Outsiders: Who will prevail?

Gossip Guy: Really? You expect me to put money on any side that features V? They get +1 for Juliet but -75 for V.

Mister Meester: Give Juliet and Vanessa credit for gumption in thinking they can take the NJBC in the first place, and for realizing their weak alliance needs a boost and bringing in Jenny. But come on, unless they add Georgina to the mix, they're going down faster than Chuck on Blair under that sound-proof duvet cover. The outsiders also can't be a legitimate threat without a fun nickname like Single White Trash Females or Junior Junior Varsity, which also uses their initials (props to reader TFV168 for that one)!

DANdy: I don't know, but if Jenny is coming back, it most definitely will NOT be one group: the viewers.

What do you think? Sound off in the comments!

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.

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b: 'what if someone sees?'
c: 'you dont like that anymore?' haaaa, awesome!

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i liked the chair scenes but it wasn't really hate sex was it? it seemed more like him finally allowing himself to want her and not being able to get enough of her. it was long overdue! im glad he was the one initiating all the sexy stuff and she was the one shooting him down in that totally adorable blair way. the end was a nice touch, it was softer and more romantic than the other hookups they had in the episode except i felt that it had a sad vibe hanging over it, was a little bit like goodbye sex :(

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1. favorite quote, definitely dean Reuther's "who are you" to Vanessa. Finally, after 70 episodes of GG, somebody asked what we were wondering ever since she showed up her face at Dan's window.
2. Colin's whole purpose was to distract Serena from choosing between Dan and Nate, and to make us wonder who the hell is Juliet. I wish he lasted at least an episode longer, cuz he's really a nice guy... and there aren't any such nice guy at GG anymore... even Dan eventually became a kind of Upper East side Cyborg :D and we definitely haven't seen the last of Ben. i think that his storyline is major this season.
3. Vanessa wasn't as useless as she could, but I hate her, so let it be 100.
4. Derena. Not because I'm a huge fan, but because I kinda miss it... :) Serena is so different now, so so far from first season's bad-girl-gone-good, I mean, after she broke up with Dan, she got conned by her fake husband, had outrageous relationship with Carter, had a celebrity fake boyfriend, had almost become next Marylin Monroe, fell for Nate-the-Great, who's basically the hottest guy on UES... I wonder how's Dan gonna deal with all of that, but he also isn't as innocent as he has been, just remember the threesome episode from last season :D

Kctv

I want dan to just go away, i much more prefer serena and colin, colin is so cute! and less of a follower puppy dog like dan or even nate. COLIN COME BACKK!!!

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i hate Dan .. personally i dont think he deserves serena.. it always be Nate from the start they shud keep that way.. SERENATE!all the way.. dan is annoying, judgmental which is not suitable for serena....

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As much as I usually like seeing Jenny and Vanessa being taken down, I feel for Juliet, and sort of actually hope they take down Serena. I'm quite annoyed of her getting away with everything.

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Why would you call Jenny, Juliet, and Vanessa the Outsiders? That book/movie was amazing and I'm offended that you would call such gross, useless people that. UGH!

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NJBC? what's it stand for? Nate...Blair, Chuck

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Good episode and good thinking by vanessa to recruit Jenny, She always wins her fights. Can't wait my favorite character is coming home!

Cb-fan

1. Fav quotes:
- Blair telling Dorota not to "Miss Blair" her;
- The "Bass-ectomy";
- Dorota saying that if even KGB can't break her, Chuck Bass has no chance;
- The Dean asking who is Vanessa (LMAO);
2. Def. not the last of Ben. As for Colin, for now I guess so. Though, I really hope he returns.
3. Mister Meester said it. I'll give her a 0 when the NJBC takes her down and when Dan finds out she is also behind the whole Serena takedown attempt.
4. Argh, neither. Nate is boring and Dan has become a huge hypocrite douche. I vote for Colena? Solin? LOL I'm not as good as Gossip Guy when it comes to create nicknames for couples.
5. Normally I'd say the outsiders have no chance, but this is GG, so anything can happen. The outsiders may win a couple of rounds, but in the end, of course it will be all about the NJBC.