Gossip Girl Round Table: "The Kids Are Not All Right"

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Welcome back to the weekly TVF Gossip Girl Round Table, where our panel breaks down the previous night's episode (see our review from earlier this morning).

Below, lead Gossip Girl writer Mister Meester joins editor-in-chief DANdy and TV Fanatic CEO Gossip Guy to discuss topics from "The Kids Are Not All Right" ...

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1. What was your favorite Gossip Girl quote from last night?

Gossip Guy: I love all witty Dair banter, but if I had to pick one? When Blair told Dan his grandfather should have been buried in the tie.

Mister Meester: Blair: "I tried to be Indra Nooyi, and while I admit that choice might have been a bit random, the other choice was to be my mother and I didn’t want that." Dan: "Why? You care about fashion the way that most people care about, well, anything. You used to send girls home from Constance crying for wearing tights as pants." Remember that? It was awesome.

DANdy: Easy. When Blair referred to Dan as a "friend" in that conversation to her mom. Never thought I'd see the day.

GG RT Logo

2. Harder to believe, not a single gratuitous Serena cleavage shot, or African-Americans on Gossip Girl?

Gossip Guy: Please, the closest thing V does to being useful is filling that role. And even that she only quarter asses. Now let's talk the serious breaking news of lack of boobage. Can we get the dictator of taste on fixing this wardrobe malfunction?

Mister Meester: While minorities are scarce, it's not unprecedented (miss you, Isabel). I can't recall another Gossip Girl without S' chest on display, however. Luckily!

DANdy: The lack of a cleavage shot, obvi. I wouldn't have believed the latter prior to January 2008, but with Obama in the White House, anything is possible now!

3. Bass Industries story line: Loads of potential, or snooze-worthy?

Gossip Guy: Oh I'm sorry, I was just resting my eyes. What was the question?

Mister Meester: Snoozefest so far, but add in a little sexual blackmail, the return of Jack Bass and the second downfall of The Captain, and you've got potential.

DANdy: Snooze-worthy? Oh, because Lily slept with the elder Thorpe and Chuck is now doing the daughter? I see what you did there, Round Tabler! Well played.

Our Fair Serena

COVER-UP: Serena kept things under wraps this week.

4. Who will kiss first, Dan and Blair or Serena and Ben?

Gossip Guy: Please, anyone putting out faster than Serena? I'm pretty sure she found a way to sleep with Ben on the way to the coffee shop.

Mister Meester: Serena and Ben. This is a girl willing to blackmail her own mom, and who cabbed it to Staten Island without a ride back just to see him. This is a guy so excited at the mere chance of her arrival that he was in good, low-key spirits just hanging around outside the prison he'd been locked in for years (in a nice new coat, natch). Clearly they're on the fast track!

DANdy: I'll go with Dan and Blair only because Serena and Ben will likely skip right past kissing and go straight for the bedroom... if you know what I mean!

5. In honor of Vanessa (we missed you, NOT) and a certain guy slowly becoming useless himself, rate last night from 1-10 on the RUFUS Uselessness Scale.

Gossip Guy: While Rufus couldn't touch V's uselessness, the poor guy hasn't been relevant since season one, or possibly his Lincoln Hawk days. But kudos for the man remembering Lily's impressively large list. For that impressive feat alone, I'm knocking him down to 3.

Mister Meester: 7. Is Rufus auditioning for a role on The Real House Husbands of the Upper East Side? He hasn't had a story with much clout since like 2009.

DANdy: 10. At this point, I figure Rufus stands for Really Unnecessary Focus Unless Serena is also in the room and wearing a tight shirt.

What do you think? Sound off in the comments!

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.

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Dair dialogue is th best in every episode!

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Joseph Carter don't worry about it, I got a gut feeling Raina is going to play him. I'm a Chuck and Blair fan but I think Raina could be the person destined to inforce over him the karmic punishment that he is going to receive for all of his womanizing ways.

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WHY DO BEAUTIFUL BLACK WOMEN ALWAYS HAVE TO BE FOULED BY THE WHITE MAN ? THIS GIRL JUST GOT ON THE SHOW AND SHE's ALREADY TRYING TO GET IN BED WITH THIS PSEUDO-MAN CHUCK BASS ! AND THE GUY IS A BUSINESS RIVAL OF HER RICH FATHER ? WHAT IDIOT THOUGHT THIS NONSENSE UP ? MORE WHITE, SLAVE-ERA FANTASIES. GOSSIP GIRL CREATORS ARE GOING TO BURN IN HELL FOR THIS MADNESS. WHERE'S THE SUAVE BLACK MAN TAKING THE WHITE WOMAN ? GOSSIP GIRL CREATORS, LEAVE BLACK PEOPLE OUT OF YOUR SHOW. YOU ARE DOING WAY MORE HARM THAN GOOD WITH YOUR ANTI-BLACK MAN FOOLISHNESS.

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1.Serena "What am i supposed to call you my son?" Chuck "Is it wierd that hearing you say that turned me on." I love them as siblings and when chuck hints things about the 2 of them. I think they should get together it would be hilarious!
2.both is gossip girl finally branching out? african americans and no cleavage? wow
3. snooze worthy. i dont like lily cuz shes boring and i feel like this story line would have way to much of her. I think chuck and serena should hook up! now that would be intersting
4. Serena and Ben duuuuuh they already liked each other before so now its only a matter of time. my guess is by the end of the next episode they'll have kissed.
5. I am so glad vanessa was not seen or mentioned but really all rufus does is support lily and then get mad at her. 8

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I always wanted Dan and Serena to be the end game, but I wouldn't mind Dan and Blair being together, they have great chemistry.. Especially since it's really hard for me to watch Serena/Dan scenes, since Blake and Penn broke up in real life...

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"Is it weird that hearing you saying that turns me on?" Chuck at Serena mentioning therapy. Or something. Was Hilarious. Also, "Why what did you hear?" echoed by Dan after Blair said it, in question of his holdiday doings was funnily subtle. They're cute. I'm pureChair to the death of me, but I'll give them cute.
Am I the only one who has MISSED Chuck and Serena inappropriate conversations since season 2? in that case you better get new hand towels? Does nobody smile at the reminicence of that? Chuck and S as siblings are gross and carefree and much more fun than Dan/S.
Speaking of which.... I am interested in Dan for the first time since season one. That expression he gave Blair as he asked her soothingly, "Whats wrong?" cmon I know you guys saw that- was so....endearing. I've missed this guy. Where were you? It took so long to get him back.
And while I eternally respect Gossip guys disdain for Vanessa sharing the same emotion myself (LOL at her quaterly filling requirements) you've gotta admit she HAS more to do than Rufus who merely shows off the effects of too much Botox and says, "Yes, dear." whenever visable. Dude, you had a personality other than carrying Lily's clubs. Where the heck did that go?
Not the best, but dare I say it, Dair and Cherena (Suck? Uh wait never mind) saved this episode mightliy. It wasn't too bad. Looking foward to more Dair and definately didn't think I'd ever say that.

I-adore-chair

1. Any of Chuck's lines when he was with Serena, and Blair's line about Dan's tie 2. Can I say both? 3. They way they are going with it...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... 4. Serena and Ben.. if Dan and Blair kiss it was be sacraligious and I would puke. 5. He was just a waste The episode was soo boring. Dair is disgusting and ratings are dropping because of them.. they need Chair back.. Raina is too old to be on GG and that whole storyline is stupid. None of the NJBC interacted at the same party and Chuck and Blair forgot they both even existed.. Dair is forced and Leighton and Penn act like P and L, not Blair and Dan... all of their scenes were so out of character.. you could see them both saying "WTF are we doing, our characters would never do this..."

Melinna

If I remenber well, GG has a history of coming back from xmas break with a rather low key episode that I feel is aimed at situating characters and plot lines, like "setting the table" for the feast that is about to come...and then the 2nd episode comes with the bang!! :D I'm ok with it, and I can´t wait for more!

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I loved Dair in this episode!!! I think they could be awesome together!!! Chuck scheming with Serena made my day!!! I almost fell sleep while watching Derena and Nate/Capitan interactions, definitely Dair is the only good thing happening right now. Btw did anyone notice that writers keep repeating Serena´s scripts?? her break up with Dan was a clon of hers with Nate, also she said to Nate that he took him for granted now she said it to Dan, just like she ended up in the hospital in 3x12 and again in 4x11, and like she chose Tripp over Nate last season, now she chose another older man, Ben, this time over Dan, seriously put some effort in Serena´s storylines, she´s supposed to be the main character!! oooor kill her off and focus in a Dan/Blair/Chuck love trinagle, that would be great for the show, she does deserve that kind of attention, unlike certain blond...

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You know how daytime soaps used to do "business" storylines? Amazingly, Gossip Girl does it worse. Let's just get to the part about Chuck's twisted relationship with Thorpe the younger, and maybe some reprise of Bad Jack Bass. To the extent that the storyline spends actual airtime "explaining" convoluted nonsense about the sale of a business, it's Disaster. DAIR is GENIUS. They need to be about 75% of each episode all spring. I love how we have no idea exactly what happened over break, except that both Dan and Blair immediately felt an excessive need to cover it up for Serena. Eric is cute and I like having him in storylines. After a 2 second smile about how Nate was now being the parent to his parent, that storyline was also dead in the water. I care nothing for how the Captain makes his second fall. Nate has all the excitement of a no-salt saltine cracker when he's trying to carry a story on his own like this. He was great with Juliet. Can we bring her back? Everything else besides Dair was so boring I don't even know what it was. Oh yeah, more of Blair being trashed as "childish". Whatever. Why must they make her once subtle character into this mawkish caricature? Just get on to the kissing with Dan. Hurry.

Gossip Girl Season 4 Episode 12 Quotes

Here's my advice. Have a little faith, and if that doesn't work, have a lot of mimosas.

Blair

Serena: Just take me away from my problems, please. Tell me, what did you do over the break?
Blair: Why? What did you hear?

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