Jersey Shore Review: "Drunk Punch Love"
No matter how much we say we hate it, Jersey Shore never ceases to amaze. Ronnie having tearful, emotional meltdowns? Pretty incredible. The grenade whistle? Epic.
Here's last night's episode in a nutshell: JWOWW and Snooki walk in the house with two dogs. The Situation quickly realizes he's amongst the company of a grenade.
Vinny sounds the grenade whistle, which is more like a grenade horn, to rescue The Situation. Ronnie flips out and throws Sammi's belongings all over their room.
MVP D: Deena Nicole Cortese is the show's Rookie of the Year.
Vinny is shocked when his hook-up's family arrives at the house. JWOWW worries Sammi will catch her consoling Ronnie. Sammi does, and slugs him in the mouth.
The roommates surprise Snooki's friend Ryder with a birthday cake. Aww. Vinny, Pauly D, Snooki and Ryder try to calm down Sammi. Ron Ron breaks down in tears.
Snooki and Vinny decide to buy a stripper pole for the house. A newly-single JWOWW grows closer to Roger. Deena confronts "Fake Ronnie" for spreading rumors.
JWoww and Sammi decide to try to mend their friendship. We'll see how that goes. Plenty more observations and some Jersey Shore quotes from last night after the jump:
When Snooki buys a stripper pole, her gut feeling is that her dad may not be thrilled when he sees it on the credit card bill. Yes, her dad still pays the thing.
"I hope when I wake up you've written me a f---ing book of apologies!" Ron yelled. "Yeah, go on. Keep crying. Your f---ing tears mean f---ing di-- to me."
Regular Hallmark card.
Sammi should be charged with assault. Amber Portwood has been, although there was a minor present in that situation. Snooki could pass for one maybe?
Deena has some interesting tastes when it comes to sex stuff. That's as much as we're going to get into it here. Enjoy some of the top lines from Thursday:
Deena: Karma's a bitch. Literally! | permalink
Deena: I would never in my life lick a butt. Let's be real. | permalink
Mike: I don't think I'd share a drink with Deena or a cigarette with Deena or anything that has to do with Deena's lips in the near future. | permalink
Vinny: It's not that sturdy ... like no fat girls can go on it, but it would be pretty funny. | permalink
Snooki: It doesn't come up "Stripper Pole" on my credit card, right? 'Cause my Dad would be like "what the f*%k?!" | permalink
Vinny: You're gonna come into my house and try to take her away? What is this f*%kin' Romeo and Juliet? The Capulet's and the f*%kin' whatever? | permalink
Vinny: Tonight there's a Grenade running around the house ... so I got the Grenade Horn in the house that lets Seaside know when Grenades are present at the Jersey Shore house. | permalink
Ronnie: I hope you have a f*%king book for the apology you have to f*%kin' write me in the morning... cry all you f*%kin' want, your tears don't mean s**t to me. Your tears mean d!ck to me, just so you know. | permalink
Ronnie: I don't get an apology... or I'm sorry, not a hug or nothin'... I get a piece a pizza, not a f*%kin' protein shake, you bring me pizza, of all things... REALLY?! | permalink
Vinny: I feel like I'm at a pizza party ... I need like Ninja Turtle plates. | permalink
Snooki: Seeing Jenni crying and breaking down... it breaks my heart and it makes me want to find Tom and chop his nuts off. | permalink
Pauly D: Grenade Whistle! | permalink