Last night on Jersey Shore, Snooki met a new man and pondered why the ocean is so salty (whale sperm) while Ronnie bled out of a major orifice and broke up with Sam again.
This week's episode was titled "Should We Just Break Up?" The answer - just ask anyone who's watched one of 30-odd episodes to date, is yes. YES. Pull the f'ing plug already!
Sammi and Ronnie really have a way of dragging the whole show down, both for viewers and fellow housemates. Are they averse to having fun and behaving non-miserably?
DONE: Sammi and Ronnie are over. No, really, the 190th time's the charm.
A brief rundown of events in Seaside Heights:
Sammi takes care of Ronnie after he has too much to drink. Ronnie gets a very special check-up when he starts bleeding ... we don't need to go into it.
Snooki accidentally falls asleep in the dog pen. Snooki goofs around at the pharmacy. Snooki meets a juicehead, Jeff, who may or may not be engaged.
Deena hooks up with Ronnie's friend. The girls try on outfits at the sex shop. Pauly D makes peace with his stalker and invites her back to the house.
After another fight, Sammi and Ronnie decide to break up. Until next week, at least. Here are some of the night's top Jersey Shore quotes ...
Deena: Face down, ass up ... that's the way I like to have a good time. | permalink
Mike: We're waiting for Sam, who's straightening her hair... whose hair is already straight! Come on man! The only thing that needs to be straightened out is her brain. | permalink
Ronnie: What don't I do for Sam? Besides wipe her ass for her and breathe for her. | permalink
Snooki: I look like a hot drunk baseball player right now and I'm lovin' it. BATTER UP, BITCHES! | permalink
Snooki: I hate the ocean, it's all whale sperm. Everybody Google it, because that's why the water is salty, from the f**kin' whale sperm. | permalink
Snooki: Jeff is ready to do moves on me... but really I had my friggin' period. Story of my life. | permalink
Snooki: I told [Pauly D] I'm taking his sperm and making babies out of it. | permalink
Deena: It's not Halloween. I'm not handing out candy for free, like you need a golden ticket to get in these drawers. | permalink
Snooki: I remember I [masturbated] all day once and the next day I couldn't even move. | permalink
Sammi: Why is Ronnie bleeding out of his ass? I have no idea. | permalink
Ronnie: Everyone's having a good time, everyone's gettin' along in the house. But, once again, one step forward, two step backs. | permalink