Last night's Jersey Shore, while possessing the most ridiculous title in the show's brief history, was actually fairly run-of-the-mill. But that doesn't mean it wasn't fun.
Relatively free of physical altercations and TMI references to bodily functions, "GTF (Gym, Tan, Find Out Who Sammi Is Texting)" centered around ... see episode title.
Was Sam being shady, doggin' Ron with some dude named Arvin? Ultimately, she and Ron decided to give things another shot, and put Guido MacGyver in his place.
In addition to Sammi's shady texts, JWoww gets upset when she notices Roger acting suspicious, but later realizes her man wasn't being as dastardly as she suspected.
She'll have to eat crow over that, which sounds a lot less appealing than the feast at Vinny's family's house on Staten Island, where he made a road trip with Pauly D.
Any episode with an Uncle Nino sighting is worth watching.
Vinny decides, amid constant abuse, that he will get a tan. Because you don't want to go through life with moderately fair skin. It's like the Scarlett Letter on the Shore.
As for Snooki? She was just being Snooki. For better or worse. She's always good for some absurd one-liners, and always really annoying. It is what it is at this stage.
Not the most dramatic episode ever, but that's not a bad thing. That's just how the Shore goes. Now, follow the jump for some of the episode's top Jersey Shore quotes ...
Pauly D: I love Vinny's family, they're like my family ... old-school Italian, looks like a Guido Circus. | permalink
Vinny's Cousin: [to Pauly] What is with that haircut man? Bride of Frankenstein ain't got nothin' on you! | permalink
Snooki: Whoever I have babies with has to be Italian. I want my kids last name to have a vowel on it... and be tanned, obviously. | permalink
Snooki: I look like a pale freak. I feel like Vinny. | permalink
Pauly: GTF! Gym, Tan, Find Out Who Sammi Is Texting Behind Ronnie's Back. | permalink
Pauly: [mocking Vin] Don't touch me, I'm tanned! | permalink
JWoww: I think Sam's doggin' Ron ... until we get the facts straight, it looks pretty bad on Sam's part. | permalink
Mike: I run into my boy, Arvin ... he looks like a jacked-up-guido-MacGyver! | permalink
Mike: When Ron is crying on my shoulder, good old Sammi, the sweetest b!tch you'll ever met, is callin' another dude. Sammi, you got caught you sneaky b!tch! | permalink
Ronnie: Your hand was in the f*%kin' cookie jar, how are you gonna sit there with the crumbs on your lip and be like, I didn't eat the cookie! | permalink
Pauly: If Ron and Sam's relationship continues I'll kill myself ... there will be no more DJ, I'll kill myself. | permalink