Well, The Vampire Diaries proved me wrong tonight: there is something sexier than this week's cover of Entertainment Weekly.
My. Goodness. Gracious. I know it upset both Delena fans and Stelena fans, but let's just give hot props where hot props are due: "Dangerous Liaisons" concluded with the most erotic scene in show history.
But was it a worthwhile scene? Does it really move the story along or does it merely exist to act as an obstacle between Elena and Damon?
It certainly made sense for both characters. Two recently-scorned, vulnerable individuals fall into bed together? Following a slew of shots? Not exactly ground-breaking material there. Many of us have likely made similar decisions and regretted them in the morning.
And, yes, it also fits both characters. Damon is as self-destructive as they come, and - whether she knew the extent of what she was saying or not - Elena did just throw his love back in his face. As for Rebekah? Well, what single gal wouldn't sleep with Damon Salvatore? Moreover, what single gal with a vendetta against Elena would not sleep with Damon Salvatore? Again, perfectly sensible on her part in that regard.
But I can't help but think it feels contrived, coming across as a way for the writers to drag out the love triangle for as long as possible... which actually aligns with the rest of what - dare I say it?!? - was a bad episode of The Vampire Diaries.
It's one thing for very little to happen throughout an hour; I'm all for the occasional slow cooker, the focus on characters here and there over non-stop action. But the romantic teases thrown our way here didn't feel natural. Come on, Caroline would NEVER come close to considering anything with Klaus. Sure, it's interesting that he paints and likes horses and isn't always a violent maniac.
But all the daddy issues in the world can't change what he did to Tyler, who is clearly Caroline's true love. I don't buy any hints otherwise. I just see them as a way to get the Twitterverse buzzing about Klaroline versus Forwood and to get the shippers freaking out when, in reality, we all know Caroline will be with Tyler when he returns.
Then again... what is he doing if he's not following her dad's advice? Where is he? Whatever happens moving Forwood (get it?!?), it likely will NOT be as simple as Tyler simply coming back a cured hybrid and falling into Caroline's bed. Still, relax everyone. No way is she getting with Klaus.
So the romance, or hints at romance, didn't do it for me this week. The waltz? The set-up of both Salvatore brothers serving as Elena's date? Too forced, too dragged out.
Mother Original, however? She was easily the best part of the hour. Do we buy that she really wants to kill her children in order to make up for betraying the natural order of things? I think so. It's hard to believe she'd be lying to Finn, her right-hand son, about offing him and his siblings. That would be downright cruel. But will she actually go through with it? That's another matter.
It's probably easy to concoct a plan when you're chilling on The Other Side for 1,000 years (think she hung out with Anna and Vicki there?). But then to see your flesh and blood in person? Even if those persons are vampires? Esther seemed to be having second thoughts after her chat with the moral Elijah. Either way, we now have another direction in the Original storyline, one that forces multiple characters and agenda to intersect and one whose outcome I can't come close to predicting.
And that's when The Vampire Diaries is at its best.
- Kol is totally the male version of Rebekah. I'm itching to kill something. What are we waiting for? Give him time and his humanity may come out, but for now, he's just loving life as a vampire. Or trying to at least.
- Might Alaric, somehow, be the Mystic Falls Butcher? It doesn't seem to make sense, considering he was actually stabbed, but the show likely wants us to consider that possibility based on the point of view - from a patient's room - it took early on inside the hospital.
- Then again, a doctor could easily be inside a patient's room, as well. The kind of doctor who, in one Fell swoop, could stake an ex-boyfriend in the woods.
- Poor Matt. As quarterback of the football team, isn't there some hot cheerleader he can get with? Someone who doesn't come with any supernatural baggage?
What did everyone else think? Have you stopped panting from the Damon and Rebekah sex scene yet? Did this slower episode do it for you? Or, like me, did developments feel both boring and a bit contrived?