Reign Review: Watch the Throne

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Though it had some bustles, the campiest marital arguments this side of "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?", and at least one stabbing, I'm with Francis... most of Reign Season 1 Episode 9 was as silly and hard to care about as Nostradamus's prophecy.

Perhaps the prophecy itself was the problem. I had a hard time drumming up much interest in watching a bunch of characters stand fairly still and yell about a prophecy for most of an hour.

Yes, it was awesome when Francis starting wailing on Bash. Yes, Queen Catherine remains a consistent source of outrageously good Reign quotes  and the most likeable TV bitch this side of Jessica Lange.

Yes, the marriage plot was a very "creative" way to finally get Bash some camera time. All good things!

But too much of this hour felt like a bunch of people passionately debating the existence of Santa - entertaining for a few minutes, but really pushing my patience after a while. Where is the lust? Where are the forest people? Where, oh, WHERE are the dresses?!

Things picked up considerably after conclusions were reached; in its final quarter, the show exploded back into that totally unhinged action that makes me love it so. Catherine's exiled! No, she's a prisoner! Bash is a prisoner! No, he's legitimate now! The wild reversals of fortune are what make this show so addictive - that and the random stabbings, of course.

But it was unfortunate that so much of this mid-season premiere was bogged down in bickering that I, at least, found it very difficult to get worked up about (even more so than the bickering about land division, and that's saying something).

About that stabbing: insert obligatory "Nostradamus should have seen that coming" comment here. But the saga of Bag Face the Ghost grows ever more intriguing.

Is Nostradamus a monster who locks up girls for fun? Or is he being a hero by keeping a very troubled woman away from the rest of court? Is he keeping her prisoner because he saw her commit a crime in a vision? Or did he kidnap her because she proved one of his prophecies wrong?

Man, I hate Nostradamus. He's one of the most untrustworthy fur-vest-wearing men on TV (that's also saying something).

What could be on tap for the rest of the season? The murder of Diane? The murder of Bash? The murder of Francis? Bag Face as a bridesmaid? I certainly don't know, and I'm not some fur vest-wearing CHARLATAN who claims to have the answers (okay, there will definitely be some murders, that's just a hunch).

But I am fully confident that Reign will be back to its old form soon enough. They couldn't keep this show boring if they tried.

Official Reign FashionWatch: 6/10, just because we only saw the Ladies for like 30 seconds, and Mary kept wearing that one dress that looked like a robe. But King Henry actually looked pretty sharp in those throne room scenes. His shirt was like what I would make my boyfriend wear to a relaxed, casual dinner date with Kanye West.

But there are some things even more important that fashion-forward men's wear. Like:

Will Bash and Mary really get married?


Editor Rating: 3.6 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 4.5 / 5.0 (64 Votes)

WTF!!!!!! I'm totally furious with this episode. I am a Frary fan all the way. & logically Bash & Mary make no sense it is ridiculous for him to be legitimate and now Francis is the bastard. Mary is just making excuses to keep him "safe" Francis is the only logical person at French court who realizes how ridiculous the whole prophecy thing is.


I love this show just for the sake of being in another time of history where life was so complicated and the dresses so beautiful. I think the prophecy took a huge proporsion, defining too many things, but I kind of liked the two possibility Mary and Bash falling for each other or she married Bash strugling with her feelings for Francis.


"No, because I cheated and looked at a history book, so I know how this ends."
Hahaha. I like the show but the only way I can is mentally editing all the words "Scottish/French/England/etc" and imagining weird fantasyland names instead. That way I don't get angry (as a history major) when I watch it. I can just roll with it :P


If the show stuck more to her real life this show would be more interesting and less stupid with very bad acting! I have no understanding of why this show is even on. There is nothing of real interest in the characters or the actors protraying real people. Bash never exsisted and Mary's mother was still alive and regent so she called the shots on what policis Scotland followed.


I liked the episode sure it was a little slow and nothing really exciting happened but to me it seemed that was because they were setting us up for the rest of the season and I really like where it's going. Mary and Bash jumping off the cliff was cool and looked like fun I've always kind of wanted to do something like that. I was a little surprised that Mary's solution was to marrie Bash and him become legitimate and king Henry agreed to it which was more shocking even though Bash is his favorite. Catherine being held prisoner was interesting. I can't wait to see what happens next I can only imagine what plans Catherine has. Can't wait till the next episode it looks good.

Drea xoxo

I'm getting annoyed with the show tbh. It is trying to be like the wonderful White queen but is failing miserably because they are drifting away from facts!! Keep to the facts !! don't drag things out get to the wedding and the demise of francis !!!

Spindae 2o

I on the other hand was pretty happy with the way the episode went. The prophecy being such a huge thing I think it isn't that a pushover I mean they were burning people on stakes for being "witches", believing in prophecies was reality for people in that time period.
The twists were pretty strong, I was surprised by how well Henry acted, he was pretty bland in the previous episodes. I'm glad he stepped up. Can't wait for Catherine's next move.
And I have to disagree with th history-knowing what will happen thing. Mary's history doesn't end with Francis dying! You should read past that point, Mary has some interesting work up after that.


"No, because I cheated and looked at a history book, so I know how this ends." Hahaha brilliant! And funnily that's precisely the one thing I don't like about this show. They have compelling interesting characters, lustfull storytelling but yet, I keep thinking: what's the point of telling a story that we all know the ending for (Spoiler: an ending that will probably not make us happy as this is one of the saddest love stories in History?)


Wow, this is the first episode of Reign I found boring or just ok.
I thought I was tired or something but it became clear it was the episode because of all the prophecy talk. And especially since the promo for this ep was so gooooood. I hope reign picks up next week. :(
But I'm grateful we got to see Mary's cleavage at least ;)

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Reign Season 1 Episode 9 Quotes

Queen Catherine: I grow weary of your threats.
King Henry: I grew weary of you a decade ago.

King Henry: What did you expect? Mary's his fiancee, they were hours from being wed.
Queen Catherine: Until she rode off with his brother. I'd call that engagement off.