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Family-guy

Joe Swanson is Peter's handicapable, suoer macho friend and neighbor on Family Guy.  Joe is voiced by the always fantastic Patrick Warburton.

Joe is married to the constantly pregnant Bonnie until she eventually popped out Susie.  His son, Kevin, was killed in Iraq.

Joe Swanson Quotes

Joe: Hey can you tell me what that Lady Gaga is? Is that a band... or a soda, or a store, or one of those terms like "donkey punch?"
Meg: No.
Joe: Is it a douche? Is Lady Gaga a douche? Well, whatever it is, I don't like it.

I just suggested a line of handicapable toys - ya know, to show the kids the fun of being physically challenged

Joe

Family Guy Quotes

Stewie: (Comes into the bedroom) Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!
Lois: What!?
Stewie: Hi! (Giggling and running out of the room)

Hi, I'm Wilford Brimley and I have diabetes. It hurts me to pee and it causes me to be short with my family. I can't sleep at night. The other day I stubbed my toe and took it out on the dog. And two weeks ago I ran out of vanilla ice cream and struck my wife. Then I find out my wife has been dead for six years. Who the hell did I hit?

Wilford Brimley
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