Joe Swanson Quotes
Joe: Public opinion has shifted, and the boys upstairs said they can no longer ignore it.
Peter: Who the hell are the boys upstairs?
You don't have to win to have fun.
Peter, face it. Without Quagmire, we're boring.
You want me to be the one who says "Giggity" now?
Well, dad, I can tell you from experience, it's only wen you worst fears come true that you get to find out how strong you really are.
One day a rain will come and wash all the scum off the streets.
Joe: Sex is overrated.
Peter: Stay out of this Joe.
Joe: I'll take smelling good over walking good any day.
Bonnie: You don't smell good, Joe.
Joe: I'm sorry, I thought I was alone.
Tim Gunn: Joe, this is Tim Gunn. I agree with your friends.
Joe: I gotta get that guy out of my head.
Peter: We're going nowhere! This bar belongs to us! Ice cream truck! [runs off]
Joe: You didn't get any ice cream?
Peter: The ice cream man was handsome and I got nervous!
Joe: Here you go guys, first time in a while I've had wood in my lap.
Quagmire: Are we supposed to laugh at that? Because it's upsetting.
Peter: You know, we saved so much trouble not flying commercial I think we came out ahead.
Joe: Sure. Drive right up to the plane.
Peter: Exactly. If we went to Logan, that plane wouldn't crash for another hour at least. [plane crashes behind him] Oh, they made pretty good time!