Love is a powerful compass.

I brought construction paper and markers in case you guys wanted to draw breasts.

Joe: Public opinion has shifted, and the boys upstairs said they can no longer ignore it.
Peter: Who the hell are the boys upstairs?

You don't have to win to have fun.

Peter, face it. Without Quagmire, we're boring.

You want me to be the one who says "Giggity" now?

Well, dad, I can tell you from experience, it's only wen you worst fears come true that you get to find out how strong you really are.

One day a rain will come and wash all the scum off the streets.

Joe: Sex is overrated.
Peter: Stay out of this Joe.

Joe: I'll take smelling good over walking good any day.
Bonnie: You don't smell good, Joe.
Joe: I'm sorry, I thought I was alone.

Tim Gunn: Joe, this is Tim Gunn. I agree with your friends.
Joe: I gotta get that guy out of my head.

Peter: We're going nowhere! This bar belongs to us! Ice cream truck! [runs off]
Joe: You didn't get any ice cream?
Peter: The ice cream man was handsome and I got nervous!

Family Guy Quotes

Stewie: (Comes into the bedroom) Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!
Lois: What!?
Stewie: Hi! (Giggling and running out of the room)

Hi, I'm Wilford Brimley and I have diabetes. It hurts me to pee and it causes me to be short with my family. I can't sleep at night. The other day I stubbed my toe and took it out on the dog. And two weeks ago I ran out of vanilla ice cream and struck my wife. Then I find out my wife has been dead for six years. Who the hell did I hit?

Wilford Brimley