Principal W. Seymour Skinner is the principal of Springfield elementary on The Simpsons.  Seymour was actually born Armin Tamazarian but swapped places with his seargeant when he returned from Vietnam war.  Now he lives with his mother and has an on and off again relationship with Edna Krabappel.  His greatest nemesis is either Bart or Superintendent Chalmers, you decide.

Principal Skinner Quotes

Ralph: What's Lyme Disease?
Principal Skinner: I'll field that one. Lyme disease is spread by small parasites called ticks. When a diseased tick attaches itself to you, it begins sucking your blood. Malignant spirochetes infect your bloodstream, eventually spreading to your spinal fluid and on into the brain.
Miss Hoover: The Brain? Oh dear god!

Bart Simpson, that is a rebuilt Yugoslavian engine and there's not even a Yugoslavia anymore. Bring it back at once.

Skinner

The Simpsons Quotes

Marge: Tomorrow night, it might be nice to go out for dinner.
Homer: Tomorrow night? Friday? Pork chop night? Marge! We haven't missed pork chop night since the great pig scare in '87!

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart