Principal W. Seymour Skinner is the principal of Springfield elementary on The Simpsons.  Seymour was actually born Armin Tamazarian but swapped places with his seargeant when he returned from Vietnam war.  Now he lives with his mother and has an on and off again relationship with Edna Krabappel.  His greatest nemesis is either Bart or Superintendent Chalmers, you decide.

Principal Skinner Quotes

Bart Simpson, that is a rebuilt Yugoslavian engine and there's not even a Yugoslavia anymore. Bring it back at once.

Skinner

Lisa Simpson in detention? My horoscope told me I'd see something interesting today, but I thought that'd be the horoscope itself

Principal Skinner

The Simpsons Quotes

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart

Officer Eddie: (reading Steve Sax's license) Well well, Steve Sax, from New York City.
Officer Lou: I heard some guy got killed in New York City and they never solved the case. But you wouldn't know anything about that now, would you, Steve?
(Lou and Eddie laugh)
Steve Sax: But there are hundreds of unsolved murders in New York City.
Officer Lou: You don't know when to keep your mouth shut, do you, Saxxy Boy?