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The-simpsons

Chester "Snake Jailbird" Turley is the constantly recurring convict on The Simpsons.  Even if he's not busy robbing poor Apu's Kwik-E-Mart, he's usually seen getting arrested for something during most of his scenes.

Snake Jailbird Quotes

Use a pen, Sideshow Bob!

Snake

Chief Wiggum: I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. Cops don't have a lot of friends. Civilians are afraid of us and other cops just remind of us things we want to forget. That's why your friendship is so special to me.
Homer: Chief, me too.
Snake: Umm, you know I've been back here for like ten hours. Any chance of a bathroom break?
Chief Wiggum: Thanks a lot jail bird. Now I have you on burglary and killing a moment.

The Simpsons Quotes

"No one ever told me I mattered before."

Meg

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

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