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The-simpsons

Judge Snyder: You stand accused of giving hope to scrawny young men. How do you plead?
Snake: Guilty of being innocent!
(Crowd laughs, Santa's Little Helper growls)

(While playing Earthland Realms)
Apu: That Cobra King over there is actually Snake.
Snake: The prison guards think I'm getting my online law degree. Haw haw.

(at therapy)
Apu: He used to rob me two, three times a week. Now, I'm lucky if I get it once a month.
Snake: He never initiates it; I have to do all the work. He just stands there.

Snake: Hand over your wallet.
Homer: You don't frighten me!
(Snake shoots Homer)
Homer: Or my wife!
(Snake shoots Marge)
Homer: Or my--
Marge: Shut up!

(to Gloria) Hey, baby. Listen carefully. Someone's been editing my biography on Wikipedia. I want you to kill him.

Chief Wiggum: Help! Help us! They stole our uniforms guns and tazers!
Snake: (in a police uniform) Ohhhhh, Fry piggy. (charges tazer)
Chief Wiggum: No, no -- no don't -- aargh! Aargh! A little to the left... aah, that's the stuff.

(stealing the trampoline) Alright! I got myself a bed!

Gary: Oh, don't worry, Mr. Simpson, we can take care of ourselves.
Snake: Uh, wallet inspector!
Benjamin: Oh, here you go. I believe that's all in order.
Snake: Wow, I can't believe that worked! (runs away)
Homer: Hey wait a minute that's not the wallet inspector!

Use a pen, Sideshow Bob!

Chief Wiggum: I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. Cops don't have a lot of friends. Civilians are afraid of us and other cops just remind of us things we want to forget. That's why your friendship is so special to me.
Homer: Chief, me too.
Snake: Umm, you know I've been back here for like ten hours. Any chance of a bathroom break?
Chief Wiggum: Thanks a lot jail bird. Now I have you on burglary and killing a moment.

Displaying all 10 quotes

The Simpsons Quotes

Where's my burrito. Where's my burrito. Where's my burrito.

Homer

I'm married to the sea, and I'm seeing two of the great lakes on the side. I won't say which ones but it's ERIE how SUPERIOR they are.

Sea Captain
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