So you left your kids to go have more kids?


I don't think Frannie will remember him, but I'm takin' over dad, and I'll remember for her.


Carrie: She walked out on us. What kind of person does that?
Maggie: Well. You.

Somebody jacked Santa's ride.


Architecture is just art we live in. Why doesn't anybody get that?


Cassandra: Mrs. Clause is real?!
Jenkins: Oh, shiny balls, yes!

Christmas is cancelled.


(to Clyde) Why don't you save your hayseed hack for the suckers that buy it.


I am not obsessing. I simply asked for a person's name and I got 20 minutes of Dr. Phil.


She is a, what's the technical term? Whack job.


Theresa: Brady looked at me like he hated me.
Anne: He does hate you but not because you were mean to the new nurse but because you bashed his father's head in with a fireplace poker and let Brady think he did it.
Theresa: Oh my God are we ever going to move on from that!

Go to the gym. Beat up on a heavy bag but not yourself.

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