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Abed: "The Cape" was cancelled.
Evil Abed: Not here--they've re-tooled it for cable and it's awesome. Wanna see it?
Abed: Desperately.

I may not be good with facial expressions, but I know an evil doppelganger when I see one. Plus, your arm makes a noise every time you move it.

We're really filling in some plot holes here.

I call it "the Crazy Quilt of Destiny," mostly because "the Loom of Fate" was already taken.

Abed: I'm the super-villain. I'm emotionless, logical, smarter than everyone else--
Annie: Hey!

Abed: If you like "Star Wars," why do you want to murder it and urinate on its grave? The prequels are terrible. I mean, seriously, wouldn't Chewbacca at some point go, "Hey, Yoda! I know that guy!"
Kid #1: He has double light sabers.
Abed: That's stupid. You're both stupid.

John McClane's tank top! You're getting really good at Christmas, Troy.

This is amazing, and possibly in real time!

I've been making a conscious effort to get away from filtering everything through TV. I figured it's time I showed some growth. It's been 3 1/2 seasons...is what the old me would have said.

Annie: Shirley! We were just-
Abed:-about to-
Troy:-eat garbage dip! Why did I have to go third??

We belonged in the sun, with the wind in our hair. Or maybe at a Bennigan's, enjoying a Turkey O'Toole.

That man saved my life...in a video game.

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 128 in total

Community Quotes

I'm no sociopath, I always know what I'm doing is wrong. I'm just a guy that doesn't like taking tests, doing work, and getting yelled at. So if you think about it, I'm the sanest person here.

Jeff

Hello during a random dessert, the month and day of which coincide numerically with your expulsion from a uterus.

Troy [reading the cake]