We named the yam "Pam." It rhymed.

Troy: How did we get the short straw?
Abed: It's not a short straw. It's a hot potato.
Troy: Yeah, well, it looks pretty cold to me.
Abed: Cold or dead?.
Troy: Survey says...
Abed: We can't both do the zinger.

Abed: Running scenarios? Careful now, you're starting to sound like Abed.
Annie: So I probably shouldn't say things like star wards, zardas, cougartown cool cool cool pop culture pop culture, I'm on a tvshow

Annie: You don't have a patent on being a control freak Abed.
Abed: I sorta do.

Annie subdue your guest.

I need help reacting to something.

Some flies are too awesome for the wall.

Pierce's positrons have bee negatized creating anti-Pierce.

Troy: You tried to destroy us, but you only made us-
Troy/Abed: More Awesome!!!

Britta: I'm turned on by how logical you are.
Abed: I'm comforted by your shiny hair and facial symmetry.

Annie will always be driven, Shirley will always be giving, Pierce will never apologize, Britta's sort of a wildcard from my perspective and Jeff will forever remain a conniving son of a bitch.

Troy: Do we have to refill the toilet olives?
Abed: Nope I just checked.
Troy: You're the best roommate. Wanna stay up all night talking in our bunkbeds?

Community Quotes

Abed: This is kinda like Breakfast Club, right?
Pierce: Is there breakfast?

The state bar has suspended my license. They found out my college degree was less than legitimate.

Jeff