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We named the yam "Pam." It rhymed.

Troy: How did we get the short straw?
Abed: It's not a short straw. It's a hot potato.
Troy: Yeah, well, it looks pretty cold to me.
Abed: Cold or dead?.
Troy: Survey says...
Abed: We can't both do the zinger.

Abed: Running scenarios? Careful now, you're starting to sound like Abed.
Annie: So I probably shouldn't say things like star wards, zardas, cougartown cool cool cool pop culture pop culture, I'm on a tvshow

Annie: You don't have a patent on being a control freak Abed.
Abed: I sorta do.

Annie subdue your guest.

I need help reacting to something.

Some flies are too awesome for the wall.

Pierce's positrons have bee negatized creating anti-Pierce.

Troy: You tried to destroy us, but you only made us-
Troy/Abed: More Awesome!!!

Britta: I'm turned on by how logical you are.
Abed: I'm comforted by your shiny hair and facial symmetry.

Annie will always be driven, Shirley will always be giving, Pierce will never apologize, Britta's sort of a wildcard from my perspective and Jeff will forever remain a conniving son of a bitch.

Troy: Do we have to refill the toilet olives?
Abed: Nope I just checked.
Troy: You're the best roommate. Wanna stay up all night talking in our bunkbeds?

Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 128 in total

Community Quotes

Sensible night, appropriate night.
Snow on ground, left and right.
Round yon purchase of decorative things.
Tolerant rewrite of carols to sing.
Function with relative ease,
Function with relative ease.

Shirley [sung to the tune of "Silent Night"]

Annie: The midterm dance will need a visual theme. Like, 'Let's blow off steam,' and it's trains!
Chang: I have an idea!
Annie: Chang, your last idea was to murder.