Adam Braverman Quotes
Max: You know, if you eat anything before your surgery, you could throw up into your breathing tube and inhale it into your lungs.
Adam: Max, stop.
Max: If you ever do that, it's a hundred percent death rate.
Adam: I'm sure he's going to be fine, honey. Crosby said he was going to 'totes' handle it.
Kristina: I don't know what that means, 'totes' handle it.
Crosby: What can I do to alleviate some of this stress for ya?
Adam: Don't ever touch me again. Let's start with that.
Max: You're both fascists. It's unfair. I'm reporting you both to the House Un-American Activities Commission.
Adam: Yeah, well, you're going to have a hard time getting in touch with them because the House Un-American Activities Committee was disbanded for being un-American!
I have a feeling Hugh Jest, Seymour Butts and Re Tard didn't sign the other kids petitions.
Adam: Who pulls crap like that?
Crosby: Yeah, even ones like Kenny G, ones you wouldn't expect.
Jasmine: What about the tape? What happens if it rains?
Adam: It's duct tape. It's not going to rain through duct tape. It's magic tape.
As my brother said, The Luncheonette is not for sale. Thank you though.
Kristina: You shouldn't have called those kids losers.
Adam: I know.
Kristina: They're not losers. They're jackasses.
You know, I was only screwing around when I said music saved my life. That's not the truth. You did.
Makeup Man: This little crease will not go away.
Adam: Okay, are we about done?
Makeup Man: No, no. You have a very shiny T-Zone. We're just getting started. It's a lot of work, all right?
Crosby: You know I always tell him he should exfoliate and he just won't listen to me.
Max: I got to ride in a cop car. It was pretty fun.
Adam: Welcome home to the adventurer!