Max: You know, if you eat anything before your surgery, you could throw up into your breathing tube and inhale it into your lungs.
Adam: Max, stop.
Max: If you ever do that, it's a hundred percent death rate.

Adam: I'm sure he's going to be fine, honey. Crosby said he was going to 'totes' handle it.
Kristina: I don't know what that means, 'totes' handle it.

Crosby: What can I do to alleviate some of this stress for ya?
Adam: Don't ever touch me again. Let's start with that.

Max: You're both fascists. It's unfair. I'm reporting you both to the House Un-American Activities Commission.
Adam: Yeah, well, you're going to have a hard time getting in touch with them because the House Un-American Activities Committee was disbanded for being un-American!

I have a feeling Hugh Jest, Seymour Butts and Re Tard didn't sign the other kids petitions.

Adam: Who pulls crap like that?
Crosby: Musicians.
Adam: Musicians?
Crosby: Yeah, even ones like Kenny G, ones you wouldn't expect.

Jasmine: What about the tape? What happens if it rains?
Adam: It's duct tape. It's not going to rain through duct tape. It's magic tape.

As my brother said, The Luncheonette is not for sale. Thank you though.

Kristina: You shouldn't have called those kids losers.
Adam: I know.
Kristina: They're not losers. They're jackasses.

You know, I was only screwing around when I said music saved my life. That's not the truth. You did.

Makeup Man: This little crease will not go away.
Adam: Okay, are we about done?
Makeup Man: No, no. You have a very shiny T-Zone. We're just getting started. It's a lot of work, all right?
Crosby: You know I always tell him he should exfoliate and he just won't listen to me.

Max: I got to ride in a cop car. It was pretty fun.
Adam: Welcome home to the adventurer!

Parenthood Quotes

Amber, you know, I was two years in Viet Nam. Do you know what I thought about, what I dreamt about? Coming home, having a family, having grandkids. I dreamt you, Amber. And Haddie, and Drew, and Sydney and Max. We almost lost ya Amber. You've had some bad breaks. You're not feeling good about yourself. You didn't get into Berkeley? Well boo friggin who. You got to suck it up girl, you're a Braverman. You got my blood in your veins. If you ever do something like this again, if you even think of doing something like this again, I will kick your little butt all the way from here to the Golden Gate Bridge. You do not have my permission to mess with my dreams. Are we clear?

Zeek

Amber, life will knock you down more times than you can possibly imagine. Don't knock yourself down.

Adam [to Amber]

Parenthood Music

  Song Artist
On my way back home On My Way Back Home Band of Horses iTunes
Song Smile Evil Twins
Well runs dry Well Runs Dry Peter Case iTunes