Amy: All I'm saying is we live in a world where closure isn't always an op...
Sheldon: ...tion. Okay.

Amy: I'm sorry you're upset. You know, Sheldon, sometimes people seek the comfort of physical contact in moments like this.
Sheldon: I am not flying back to Texas just so my mom can give me a hug.

Seriously, is that tape? Like, how are they staying up like that?

You're all wasting your time. Sheldon is the most qualified for the job, and no amount of gravity-defying bosom's going to change that.

If you'd let me pierce your brain with a hot needle in the right place you'd be happy all the time.

Amy: Used me as a human shield?
Sheldon: I panicked. He looked taller than usual.

His quirks just make you love him more. ... Someone please agree with me.

Amy: Sheldon ... all Snow White needs is one small kiss to wake up.
Sheldon: Heard you the first time.

The world of science needs more women, but from an young age we girls are encouraged to care more about the way we look than the power of our minds.

Bernadette: We can't all be Cinderella.
Amy: Then, how do we decide?
Bernadette: Well, it's simple. This was my idea. I'm driving. I'm Cinderella. You bitches got a problem with that we can stop the car right now.

Yeah, yeah, you want a cigarette. Well, I'd like a normal boyfriend. Deal with it.

A tumor would explain a lot.

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.

It's very simple. Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and, as it always has, rock crushes scissors

Sheldon