The Big Bang Theory

Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBS
The big bang theory
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... cuz we out dropping science, son.

Amy: Here I am?
Sheldon: Wait. Here who is where?

Sheldon: I read his research and ... it's leaps and bounds ahead of mine. Which means the mommy of the smartest physicist at the university is not my mommy as I thought. It's his mommy.
Amy: Sheldon, I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better. May I offer you a consoling hug?
Sheldon: What do we have to lose?
Amy: How's that?
Sheldon: I feel like I'm being strangled by a boa constrictor. Why did you stop?

Bernadette: Well, what if Hulk picked up Thor while Thor is holding the hammer.
Amy: Yeah?
Bernadette: Then by the transitive property of picking things up Hulk picked up the hammer.
Amy: No. Hulk picked up Thor. Thor picked up the hammer.
Penny: Okay, hang on. If I go to a bar and pick up a guy and he picks up a girl and then we all leave together. Did I pick up the girl?
Amy: Did that ever happen?
Penny: Hey, are we talking about me or are we talking about Thor?

Penny: If Harry Potter's wand can make decisions, why can't Thor's hammer?
Amy: Ok, if you're going to start comparing wands and hammers, I can't even take you seriously.

Amy: All right, well, who's the best superhero?
Stuart: Shh! You can't ask a question like in here. Are you trying to start a rumble?

Bernadette: Why are they staring?
Amy: Who cares? Just soak it in. Hello, Boys.

Amy: When did Howard learn to sew?
Bernadette: When he was a little boy, every couple months, he'd have to let his mother's pants out.

You think that's bad. In college, I passed out at a frat party and woke up with more clothes on.

Amy: By rolling dice and playing make believe with little figurines?
Sheldon: Like a bunch of savages.

Amy: Oh my.
Sheldon: Excuse me, you aren't supposed to be enjoying this.
Amy: Then maybe you should spank me harder.
Sheldon: Maybe I will.

Amy: Are you saying you want to spank me?
Sheldon: I don't want to. But, it looks like you have left me no choice.
Amy: That's true. I've been a very bad girl.

Displaying quotes 85 - 96 of 173 in total

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.

Sheldon: Ugh! English pudding. Y-You get yourself all excited for pudding, and here comes a cake with raisins in it. I'm not going.
Amy: You're going.
Sheldon: Why do you hate me?
Amy: I don't hate you. I love you.
Sheldon: Well, you call it love, but it has a lot of raisins in it.