The Big Bang Theory

Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBS
The big bang theory
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Amy: Sheldon, aren't you gonna take care of me?
Sheldon: Me? No. I'm not that kind of doctor.

Bernadette: Because I'm the one that had it towed.
Amy: You?
Bernadette: Didn't see that one coming, did ya?

Bernadette: Gosh, Amy. I'm sensing a little hostility. Is it maybe because like Sheldon's work, your sex life is also theoretical?
Penny: Damn.
Amy: Well, at least, when we do make love, Sheldon won't be thinking about his mother.

Amy: Well, Howard's never gonna go to space again, but Sheldon will always be a genius.
Bernadette: You're right. And, I'm sure Sheldon will get a fancy parking spot again if and when he makes a worthwhile contribution to science.
Amy: If and when?

Amy: At some point, they're bound to lock horns.
Penny: I'm assuming these are some kind of horns they bought at Comic-Con?

Yikes, this guy is worse than Wil Wheaton.

Sheldon: Eat one of your Luna bars. Very often when women think they're angry they're really just hungry.
Amy: I'm not hungry!

Wil Wheaton: You do realize I'm doing this for free, right?
Amy: Yes and so far we're still not getting our money's worth.

Amy: You'll have to forgive me. This is my first time directing. I just want it to be good.
Wil Wheaton: So, do I.
Amy: Great. So, this time let's try more real boy and less Pinocchio.
And action.
Wil Wheaton: And cut.

It's called "Fun with Flags." They're not at half-mast, nobody died. Let's try and keep it upbeat.

Amy: I feel like I'm in high school again.
Bernadette: Yeah, doing the prom queen's homework, so she'll like us.
Amy: I know. It's finally working.

Amy: You have to be the weirdest couple I know.
Penny: Really? You can't think of anyone weirder?
Amy: I can, [whispers] but she's sitting right there.

Displaying quotes 97 - 108 of 171 in total

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.

Amy: Sheldon, there's something else I've been wanting to say, but before I do, I just... I want you to know that you don't have to say it back.I know you're not ready, and I don't want you to say it just because social convention dictates...
Sheldon: I love you, too.
Amy: You said it.
Sheldon: There's no denying I have feelings for you that can't be explained in any other way. I briefly considered that I had a brain parasite. But that seems even more far-fetched. The only conclusion was love.