The Big Bang Theory

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The big bang theory
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Sheldon: Amy, would you be strong enough to bath yourself? Or, do you need my help?
Amy: I'll tell him tomorrow. Mama needs a bath.

Sheldon: How can you sleep? I'm not done making you feel better. I still have to put a cold rag on your head, sing to you, and apply Vaporub to your chest.
Amy: You want you rub something on my chest.
Sheldon: Yes, all over it.
Amy: Maybe we should start with that.
Sheldon: Now you're being a responsible patient.
Sheldon: Now, you may notice some tingling.
Amy: Oh, I'm counting on it.

Amy: Sheldon, aren't you gonna take care of me?
Sheldon: Me? No. I'm not that kind of doctor.

Bernadette: Because I'm the one that had it towed.
Amy: You?
Bernadette: Didn't see that one coming, did ya?

Bernadette: Gosh, Amy. I'm sensing a little hostility. Is it maybe because like Sheldon's work, your sex life is also theoretical?
Penny: Damn.
Amy: Well, at least, when we do make love, Sheldon won't be thinking about his mother.

Amy: Well, Howard's never gonna go to space again, but Sheldon will always be a genius.
Bernadette: You're right. And, I'm sure Sheldon will get a fancy parking spot again if and when he makes a worthwhile contribution to science.
Amy: If and when?

Amy: At some point, they're bound to lock horns.
Penny: I'm assuming these are some kind of horns they bought at Comic-Con?

Yikes, this guy is worse than Wil Wheaton.

Sheldon: Eat one of your Luna bars. Very often when women think they're angry they're really just hungry.
Amy: I'm not hungry!

Wil Wheaton: You do realize I'm doing this for free, right?
Amy: Yes and so far we're still not getting our money's worth.

Amy: You'll have to forgive me. This is my first time directing. I just want it to be good.
Wil Wheaton: So, do I.
Amy: Great. So, this time let's try more real boy and less Pinocchio.
And action.
Wil Wheaton: And cut.

It's called "Fun with Flags." They're not at half-mast, nobody died. Let's try and keep it upbeat.

Displaying quotes 97 - 108 of 173 in total

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.

Sheldon: Ugh! English pudding. Y-You get yourself all excited for pudding, and here comes a cake with raisins in it. I'm not going.
Amy: You're going.
Sheldon: Why do you hate me?
Amy: I don't hate you. I love you.
Sheldon: Well, you call it love, but it has a lot of raisins in it.