Popular Andy Dwyer Quotes
Andy: Do you have a key in your shoe?
Ron: No, no. I have a bunion that's practically it's own toe. Normally the pain howls through my loafers like a banshee on the moors, but these past three minutes its been reduced to a faint growl.
Hey, Mark. The shoe shine stand still doesn't have that syphilis medication you were asking about.
Oh, uh, also, Mark. Again, we don't have those extra small condoms you ordered. I called the factory, i''s going to take a special order. Not just because of the size, but because of the weird shape as well. Something they've never dealt with before.
Andy: No, I just figured because, uh, pool's all about angles and he's a failed architect that he might want to play pool.
Mark: Let's do it.
Ann: Really? That worked?
Step two. Lose to your opponent intentionally so they gain confidence. Step two has been completed. Easily. Very easily, Mark is pretty good at pool.
Mark: You have nothing else to give me.
Andy: I have a T-shirt I tackled Eddie Vedder in. It's literally priceless.
I know that legally Ann is now mine, but it weirdly doesn't feel that way.
Andy: You have to choose: me or Justin?
Ann: What? No. I'm dating Mark!
Andy [to camera]: This close.
Talking about writing about what I'm doing. Now I'm singing about talking about writing about what I'm doing.
It's rock and roll, my friend. Fast, smooth, handsome rock.
That's really sweet that your grandparents still make love.
The band has had a few different names over the years. When we started we were Teddy Bear Suicide. But then we changed it to Mouse Rat. Then we were God Hates Figs; Department of Homeland Obscurity; Flames for Flames; Muscle Confusion; Nothing Rhymes With Orange; then Everything Rhymes With Orange; Punch Face Champions; Rad Wagon; Puppy Pendulum; Possum Pendulum; Penis Pendulum; Handrail Suicide; Angel Snack; Just the Tip; Threeskin; Jet Black Pope; we went back to Mouse Rat and now we are Scarecrow Boat. God when I hear myself say "Scarecrow Boat" out loud I kind of hate it.
