Andy Dwyer Quotes
Guitarist: Look, if you're not going to pay rent, at least clean up your dishes.
Andy: Uhhhhhhhhh, is that all?
Guitarist: No. Also the bag of smells was a fun experiment, but it has to stop.
Andy: Come on, no. I'm finally starting to get serious results.
if I'm not mistaken that was the old lady version of flashing. Nailed the gig.
My problem is I don't know how to tell if we're doing good, because when you play a rock show, it's really easy to know if you're doing great because chicks will flash their boobs at you. When you're up on stage. And you're like, "That musta sounded pretty good." But I can't, if that happens here my eyes will fall out of my head and I'll die.
Andy: Uh, I mean that sucked. Didn't it?
Bandmate: Maybe if you sang it like Louie Armstrong?
Andy: Maybe, yeah. I mean here's the thing though: Who is that?
Andy: I just wrote a new song, OK? Bottom line: it's called "sex hair." It's about how you can tell when someone just had sex 'cause of how their hair gets matted up in the back. It's awesome.
I promise I will not spit in anyone's food, unless they should request that I do.
Hey it's me, Justin. Take my coat, but please be careful I got it from the king of Africa when we were walking on the Berlin Wall together. Really, Justin, what instruments do you play? Actually. Actually he's a pretty sick keyboardist.
That's really sweet that your grandparents still make love.
It's rock and roll, my friend. Fast, smooth, handsome rock.
Talking about writing about what I'm doing. Now I'm singing about talking about writing about what I'm doing.
Andy: You have to choose: me or Justin?
Ann: What? No. I'm dating Mark!
Andy [to camera]: This close.
I know that legally Ann is now mine, but it weirdly doesn't feel that way.
