Parks and Recreation

Andy Dwyer Quotes (Page 9)

Andy: It's rock and roll, my friend. Fast, smooth, handsome rock.
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Andy: Talking about writing about what I'm doing. Now I'm singing about talking about writing about what I'm doing.
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Andy: You have to choose: me or Justin?
Ann: What? No. I'm dating Mark!
Andy [to camera]: This close.
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Andy: I know that legally Ann is now mine, but it weirdly doesn't feel that way.
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Mark: You have nothing else to give me.
Andy: I have a T-shirt I tackled Eddie Vedder in. It's literally priceless.
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Andy: Step two. Lose to your opponent intentionally so they gain confidence. Step two has been completed. Easily. Very easily, Mark is pretty good at pool.
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Andy: No, I just figured because, uh, pool's all about angles and he's a failed architect that he might want to play pool.
Mark: Let's do it.
Ann: Really? That worked?
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Andy: Oh, uh, also, Mark. Again, we don't have those extra small condoms you ordered. I called the factory, i''s going to take a special order. Not just because of the size, but because of the weird shape as well. Something they've never dealt with before.
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Andy: Hey, Mark. The shoe shine stand still doesn't have that syphilis medication you were asking about.
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Andy [about Mark and Ann]: They're probably making out, over a dead deer. Super romantic.
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