Popular Ann Perkins Quotes
Leslie: Possum, there was a possum. We captured a possum and we brought it into your house and it got out and it might have laid eggs in your bed.
Ann: What?
Leslie: And it went into your laundry and your kitchen and it touched all your bras. And I'm so sorry, it's our fault we captured it and it got out and it ran around and it was a possum, OK? April, run, April. Sorry, Ann. I love you!
Tom: Happy belated Valentine's Day.
Ann: Valentine's Day was a month ago. Why are you giving it to me now?
Tom: Whatever. Happy early Valentine's Day.
Ann: OK, this is one of those nanny cam teddy bears, isn't it?
Tom: What? No, it's a regular camera-less teddy bear. Just put it in your bedroom. Don't even think about it.
Donna: I'll take it.
Ann: Donna, there's a camera in it.
Donna: I know.
Ann: Here are the keys. And remember...
April: I know. Don't let Tom make a copy.
I'm paying April fifty bucks to watch my house while I'm away. I would have asked Leslie but I've seen the way she takes care of her house.
I always had fun with Andy. The problem is when you're his girlfriend, you're also his mother, and his maid, and his nurse. He's completely helpless. He's like a baby in a straightjacket. Ooo, baby in a straightjacket, that's a good band name. I should tell him that.
Ann: I watch a lot of Lifetime movies. There was this one, "How Far is Too Far Enough: The Terry Palaver Lonagan Story." This woman had agoraphobia and her therapist was obsessed with her. And he hid in her house, and then he attacked her and tried to eat her toes. Also, her daughter was having sex way too young. So yeah, free self defense class? I'm there.
Leslie: Thanks for the coffee.
Ann: That's also for Mark.
Leslie: I really need it though. But next time more sugar, OK? Thanks, bye!
Ron: How are we doing?
Andy: Pretty good. I may have promised a new aquatic center to somebody. Is that a problem?
Ann: I diagnosed two melanomas. They're both benign.
Ann: As a nurse and as your friend, I highly suggest you don't try to stay up for the next 24 hours.
Leslie: I can definitely do it. I've already been up for 24 hours.
Leslie Knope: Dream with me for a second, Ann: doesn't this neighborhood deserve a first class park? Imagine a shiny new playground with a jungle gym; and swings; pool; tennis courts; volleyball courts; raquetball courts; basketball courts; regulation football field; we can put an ampitheater with 'Shakespeare in the Park'...
Ann Perkins: It's really not that big of a pit.
Leslie Knope: We can do some of those things.
