Popular Anthony (Tony) DiNozzo Quotes
Tony: One other question, I know you're an expert in English history. And I was just wondering, have you ever heard of Archibald Drummond, the 17th Earl of Trent?
Ducky: The Earl of Trent. No, I can't say I have. Why?
Tony: I was just wondering. Thanks.
Tony: I got it. You dumped Jake.
McGee: Like a hot potato.
Tony: Dumped him.
Ziva: Slow drivers.
Tony: Bad drivers.
Ziva: What is so hard? You go as fast as possible, when something gets in your way, you turn.
Tony: You're quoting Better Off Dead. I told you to watch that.
Bishop: Actually, I should get back to NSA.
Tony: You're not getting off that easy. Gibbs likes rules too. #45: always clean up your mess.
Tony: Hernandez was a small time dealer in a big cartel, and he may have pulled the trigger, but he didn't make the big decisions. Long was his boss.
Gibbs: What about it?
Tony: What do you mean "what about it?" This is personal for you, Gibbs. You and Mitch. You want revenge for your families. But what does that mean? Are you going to put a bullet in Long's head the way you did to Hernandez?
Gibbs: I'm going to tell you this one time. We're going to get Long on good evidence. This is above board. Do you understand what I just said?
Tony: I understand if you let Mitch get dirty, you get dirty too.
Gibbs: No, no no - we agreed. This is above board.
Tony: Then what is he doing right now? Where is he?
Gibbs: I just talked to him. He's at his hotel. We're going to start fresh in the morning.
Tony: No. He lied to you. We just pinged his phone. He's at Long's place.
Ziva: That's him. Over there.
Tony: With his brother Darryl and his other brother Darryl?
Gibbs: Whaddya got?
Borin: We have a problem.
Gibbs: Worse than DiNozzo's crabs?
Tony: Having flashbacks to my childhood. Reminds me of Sunday dinners with dad. Stepmoms two and four.
McGee: What should we do?
Tony: Same thing I did as a kid. Keep your head down, wait to be excused, you go to your room and play with yourself.
Bishop: We're about to go live. What are you guys talking about?
McGee and Tony: Star Wars.
Tony: How long have you been standing there?
Ziva: Long enough to see that you are well-hydrated after your time in the desert.
Lodge owner: I swear, the old witch is psychic. If I have so much as a thought of another woman...
Tony: You don't have to answer that.
Lodge owner: I have to.
Tony: Mat. Missing a "t" there buddy. Like "doormat"?
Mat: I dropped the second "t" years ago. Life's not about conforming to society's phallic-centric norms. Homemade gluten-free cinammon scones?
Tony: No! Are you nuts? Never take cookies or movie advice from a hipster.