Tony: One other question, I know you're an expert in English history. And I was just wondering, have you ever heard of Archibald Drummond, the 17th Earl of Trent?
Ducky: The Earl of Trent. No, I can't say I have. Why?
Tony: I was just wondering. Thanks.

Tony: I can't stay here.
Gibbs: We know that.
Tony: If that's Ziva, I gotta go.
Gibbs: We know. McGee, get him a plane.

Ziva: Anything new on the nanny front?
McGee: Not that I've heard. Vance's search enters its second week.
Tony: Which left his agents feeling like a gaggle of nuns waiting on white smoke from the Vatican chimney.

Ziva: You have to tell him [McGee] the truth.
Tony: Not until I'm absolutely sure lying won't work.

McGee: If you don't like my rules you can find someone else to drive you in.
Tony: All I wanted was to stop for coffee. I was willing to treat.
McGee: No one eats or drinks in my car.
Tony: Well I guess sex is out of the question.

Tony: McGee.
McGee: What?
Tony: Victim's background, credit cards, bank statements. Gibbs, take a look at Renny's appeal. Use it to catch yourself up on the original embezellment case, then work with McGee.
Gibbs: On it, Boss.
Ziva: Are you going back to Mexico?

Bishop: So why did Linda leave him?
Tony: She probably got clued into his line of work.
Bishop: I thought he was a businessman.
Tony: Ha.
McGee: Well he calls himself an entrepreneur. But he's kind of more like a head-hunter who finds rich people, by--
Tony: It's okay Tim, you can say it. My dad is a con man.
Bishop: What? But he's so---
Tony: Handsome? Charismatic? Right place, right time? Exactly.

Pitt: Me, I'm not the coddling type.
McGee and Tony: We've noticed

Ziva: I hit a stone wall.
Tony: Brick wall.
Ziva: No, it was a stone wall. I backed up too quickly.

Ziva: I'm sorry if I hurt you in all of this. It was never intended. Tony, I care too much about our...friendship. I do not want it to be awkward between us.
Tony: Hey. [Kisses her forehead.] Nothing's awkward between friends.

Tony: Are you flirting with me at a crime scene, Inspector?
Inspector Cheblis: No. Maybe, I don't know. Does it matter?
Tony: Your timing could be better.
Inspector: Maybe you're only uncomfortable because you're not used to being a witness.

[answers phone] DiNozzo desk.

NCIS Quotes

Tony: One other question, I know you're an expert in English history. And I was just wondering, have you ever heard of Archibald Drummond, the 17th Earl of Trent?
Ducky: The Earl of Trent. No, I can't say I have. Why?
Tony: I was just wondering. Thanks.

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.