Tony: One other question, I know you're an expert in English history. And I was just wondering, have you ever heard of Archibald Drummond, the 17th Earl of Trent?
Ducky: The Earl of Trent. No, I can't say I have. Why?
Tony: I was just wondering. Thanks.

Light me up, Lord of the Tickets. It's story time.

Ziva: Dead man is ICE.
Tony: That's cold.

McGee: You know how many connections I've found between Arnett and Sutton? Zero. I have checked everything. Emails, phone records ... is that pastrami?
Tony: [nodding, eating] Mmm.
McGee: Can I have a bite?
Tony: [shakes head] Mmm.

Vance: Put it away.
Tony: Oh. Excuse me, sir. I'll be right back in. I was just going to call---
Vance: I know what you're doing Agent DiNozzo and I said stop.
Tony: With all due respect sir, I think Gibbs would want the update.
Vance: You brief him, he'll be back at his desk before lunch.
Tony: That's his call.
Vance: No, it's my call. Gibbs needs time. It's my job to make sure he takes it.
Tony: Anyone else I would agree sir, but Leroy Jethro Gibbs?
Vance: Can you handle point on this or not?
Tony: Of course I can.
Vance: Good. Then inform your team, Agent DiNozzo. Gibbs stays where he is. No contact. Are we clear?
Tony: Clear as a bell, sir.

Tony: Do I seem okay to you?
Ducky: Markedly better than the last occupant of that table.

Tony: So he pulls me into his office and I think he's going to chew me out for that thing I said about his hair, right? But no. He wants to know if I think he's being doing an okay job.
McGee: The deputy is no Director Vance, that's for sure.

McGee: Bishop you realize if we'd arrive fifteen seconds earlier we'd both be dead?
Bishop: Aren't you glad I made you stop for coffee McGee?
Tony: He's venti grateful.

McGee: What do you get if you kick a dog? Trip to Hawaii?
Tony: Death by Abby.

Tony: How many languages do you speak?
Ziva: Including the language of love? Ten.

Ziva: That's him. Over there.
Tony: With his brother Darryl and his other brother Darryl?

Pitt: Me, I'm not the coddling type.
McGee and Tony: We've noticed

NCIS Quotes

Abby: McGee, I want to celebrate that you can light up a room as fast as you can ping a phone.
McGee: Well thanks!
Abby: Hashtag: living rocks.
Gibbs: Hashtag get to the point.
Abby: Oh my God, Gibbs. You just used the word hashtag in a sentence

Hugo: Who's asking?
Vance: NCIS
Fornell: FBI
Hugo: WC 10-gauge. Now get the hell off my property.