Popular Anthony (Tony) DiNozzo Quotes
High-tech case - low-tech ass-kickin'!
This was no boating accident.
McGee, not me? McGoo, you?
Bishop: I don't get drunk.
Tony: I'm sorry. I didn't understand what you said.
Bishop: It's physically impossible for me. I tried in college. Can't. Ask my husband.
Tony: There are a lot of things I want to ask your husband.
Tony: ...but lucky for us we've got morning check-ins, email chain letters. Hey - international coffees of the week.
McGee: Yeah that Indonesian Wildboar blend was pretty bitter.
Tony: Bitter. Coffee almost killed me. Seriously, that's dangerous stuff. It's like putting a hot poker up my bum.
Ziva: These chocolates are delicious!
Gibbs: Hey, dad. Stop making my team fat.
Ziva: Gibbs, why didn't you tell us your father was coming?
Gibbs: I didn't think he'd actually show. Go ahead, have another one, bubble butt.
Tony: It's my metabolism slowing with age.
Ziva: This reminds me of the forests I used to have fun in as a child.
Tony: Find that hard to believe.
Ziva: What? That Israel had forests?
Tony: No, that you had fun as a child.
Bishop: So. Military school, huh?
Tony: So. Yeah.
Bishop: Uniforms, PT, drills....
Tony: Those are all things that happen at military school, yes.
Bishop: How'd you end up there?
Tony: It was Senior's Hail Mary - trying to straighten me out after six boarding schools in four years.
Tony: Oh, glad you could join us McTardy.
McGee: Where's the bossman? I need a superior to sign off on this.
Tony: Hand it over, I'm clearly superior to you in so many ways.
Gibbs: The plane's missing.
Tony: It's been Kai-jacked!
Ziva: Did you really just say that?
Tony: I regret it already.
Flynn: Jeff Daniels wasn't in Tron, that was Jeff Bridges.
Tony: Flynn, you are a fan.
Gibbs: How's your love life, DiNozzo?
Gibbs: You still seeing the secretary?
McGee: He means Andrea.
Bishop: Andrea. Hmm. Who's Andrea?
Tony: Andrea. Oh yeah. Yeah. She's uh, I mean, it's kind of on an as-needed basis.
Pride: Friends with benefits?
Gibbs: Yeah well those aren't benefits like dental insurance.