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Ncis

Tony: Don't worry McScout; We got our Mossad hunting dog. Bark once for yes.
Ziva: Grrrr!

Ziva: I remember my first fight. I was eight. Shmuel Rubinstein.
Tony: Sounds like a real stud.
Ziva: One punch and it was over.
Tony: What did poor Shmuel do to deserve the wrath of Ziva?
Ziva: He said he liked me.

Reminds me of my first apartment in college. You can almost smell the Ikea.

Tony: (photographing a wrecked car) Huh, someone didn't know how to parallel park!
Ziva: I have always found it hard to park when someone is shooting with you.

Ziva: You have to tell him [McGee] the truth.
Tony: Not until I'm absolutely sure lying won't work.

Ziva: He really likes her, Tony. You have to tell him.
Tony (laughs): I know. But it's actually kind of flattering... in a creepy way.
Ziva (angry): What did you think would happen?
Tony: I don't know... the flaw in the plan was the plan but I got another plan to end it.
Ziva: Which is?
Tony: You ever see "Fatal Attraction"?

Tony: Well, that's my name, it's not my signature. But that's my name. And to think I almost made entire year without being accused of murder.
Desk Clerk: The guy did look a lot like you.
Tony: Not helping.
Desk Clerk: Was a little more fit though.

McGee, stroke my plumage.

Tony: (on the phone) Hey Probie, what I am looking at?
Vance: A career in the fast food industry.
Tony: Director Vance. How are you, sir?

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