Tony: You didn't just put in a new pool, did you? For the fam, Roger? You seem like a kidney-shaped guy to me.
Dietz: You won't find anything.
Tony: Are you calling my bluff, Roger? Because that would take big brass ones.

Tony: We want the boy. What do you want?
Daniel: Just to be heard. To be respected. Not to be handed your broken promises.
Tony: Welcome to the generation gap. Old habits die hard, Daniel.
Daniel: Or they just die.

Sarah: The Calling began as part of the group I joined in Syria, but it became something else.
Tony: What?
Sarah: A faction eager to bring chaos. They pushed our religious doctrine aside. They're rooted in nothing but the desire to reject authority and paralyze the system.
Bishop: Misguided youth.
Sarah: The faction broke off and moved its followers to Iraq.
Bishop: And now they're everywhere.

Use the zip ties, Bishop. He's too small for handcuffs.

Tony: Gibbs is tied up.
Bayar: What do you think?
Tony: What do you mean what does she think? Gibbs is tied up, he sent us.
Bayar: I heard you, but I didn't like your answer.
Tony: You don't like my answer or you don't like me?
Bayar: Neither.
Bishop: Gibbs really is tied up. He sends his apologies.
Bayar: You see? She dips it in sugar and all of a sudden it tastes so sweet.
Bishop: Mr. Bayar...
Bayar: Please. Call me Agah.
Bishop: Agah. We'd like to discuss your mother.

If it isn't Jake the snake, who takes the cake, never wakes and bakes and.....I haven't had my coffee yet.

Tony: Well hey there Alfredo. Looks like you traded in your prison jumpsuit, huh?
Bishop: NCIS! Don't move!
Alfredo: Go ahead. Kill me. Get it over with!
Bishop: Why would we do that?
Tony: Alfredo. We're NCIS.
Alfredo: So, like feds can't be bought?
Tony: That's not really our style.
Alfredo: You're not going to kill me?

Tony: You must have had a rough childhood. Normally I would take great pleasure in breaking a clown like you down nice and slow. But considering that you conspired with a terrorist and you are responsible for the torture and murder of a United States Marine, I'm a little pissed off and pressed for time.
Ashmore: Hey good cop. You wanna step in here?
McGee: You're on your own.

Zoe: Should I go home, change first?
Tony: I see no reason to do that. I think you look exquisite.
Zoe: Thank you. I just want everything to go perfectly. To tell you the truth I'm a nervous wreck. I think I've seen Meet the Parents way too many times.
Tony: Well I can assure you my father is nothing like Robert DeNiro.
Gibbs: Come on, come on. Get to work.
Tony: Gibbs on the other hand...

Tony: I've been doing this a little longer than you and I know one thing: we've got to put pressure on them. Trust me.
Zoe: You know, I hate it when someone says "trust me". I immediately don't.
Tony: Are we having our first argument?

Senior: Such an ambitious undertaking by the father, you'd think that the son would show some appreciation.
Tony: I appreciate what you did to my kitchen!
Zoe: You know, I think I should just leave.
Tony: No no no no no no. Don't leave me with Wreck-It Ralph.
Zoe: We can just re-schedule.
Tony: No. Please, Zoe. I told you I wasn't exaggerating. This always happens. Thank God he lives in New York.

Tony: I don't know what I was thinking. I should have never suggested working with Keates. That was not a good idea. I would like to invoke Rule #12: never date a co-worker.

NCIS Quotes

[voiceover] Anyone can achieve their fullest potential, who we are might be predetermined, but the path we follow is always of our own choosing. We should never allow our fears or the expectations of others to set the frontiers of our destiny. Your destiny can't be changed but, it can be challenged. Every man is born as many men and dies as a single one.

McGee

Abby: It's okay. Breena's fine. Breathe. Good. Now hurry up and get to the hospital because Breena is in labor.
McGee: Jimmy? Did you hear what she said? She just said Breena's having a baby. I think you broke him.