Anthony (Tony) DiNozzo Quotes
Tony: How long?
McGee: Just this once? Okay it's been the whole time. We've been working late. I was weak.
Tony: I don't even know who you are anymore.
McGee: Wait, please, I have another one. Here. Take it. It's yours.
Tony: You can't buy me with your pepperoni. I want steak. Creamed spinach. French fries.
Bishop: Can I get in on this?
McGee: Yes. Absolutely. Steaks all around, my treat. Let's go.
- Permalink: McGee gets busted.
Samson: I only ran to keep up with appearances. The fake punches were a great touch though.
Tony: Those were real punches.
Samson: That's funny. I like you.
- Permalink: Just kidding. They were totally fake. Right, Tim?
Delilah: With this case, he thinks I'm trying to lose my job but I'm not. It's the opposite. I'm trying to show that I can do more, to move up.
Tony: I can understand that.
Delilah: Because there's this senior analyst opening in Dubai.
Tony: Dubai is not here.
Delilah: I know. Which leads me to another thing that I need to tell Tim.
- Permalink: Tony the sounding board.
Jones: If I'd know you were coming I would have stayed and baked cookies.
Tony: Hey. I have to ask.
Jones: Brisco kept me so high I barely remember crawling out of that place on my hands and knees. I found a gun that he left behind and I hid in a storm drain across the street until the drugs got out of my system. Agent DiNozzo, if I was in on this, why would I risk coming back for Melody?
- Permalink: But what kind of cookies?
McGee: It's a voodoo doll that looks just like you, right down to the insincere grin. What's the note say?
Tony: Little Tony will bring you good luck and happiness. That's not funny. There's nothing funny about voodoo, ever since I saw "Live and Let Die" when I was a kid.
McGee: It's a doll. It's a stuffed toy.
Tony: So was Chucky.
- Permalink: Bishop picks the *best* gifts, doesn't she?
Gibbs: Anything I can do?
Bishop: Uh, it's pretty self-explanatory, really.
Gibbs: Did you check to see if that little gizmo there is attached to that other giddy-bop?
Bishop: Mmm. Not yet. You think that'll do it?
Gibbs: If you spit on it. Sometimes that works.
Bishop: All right.
Tony: Oh, come on!
- Permalink: Better tighten the doohickey first.
Bishop: I don't get drunk.
Tony: I'm sorry. I didn't understand what you said.
Bishop: It's physically impossible for me. I tried in college. Can't. Ask my husband.
Tony: There are a lot of things I want to ask your husband.
- Permalink: A.K.A. Metabolic Tolerance
Gibbs: How's your love life, DiNozzo?
Gibbs: You still seeing the secretary?
McGee: He means Andrea.
Bishop: Andrea. Hmm. Who's Andrea?
Tony: Andrea. Oh yeah. Yeah. She's uh, I mean, it's kind of on an as-needed basis.
Pride: Friends with benefits?
Gibbs: Yeah well those aren't benefits like dental insurance.
- Permalink: Yeah well those aren't benefits like dental insurance.
Tony: He just pulled the "this is my wedding gift to him" card.
McGee: Well that's a very nice one.
Tony: I guess it beats the steak knives I was going to re-gift him.
- Permalink: Maybe a gift certificate's too tacky.