Salim: [re: truth serum] It will not take long for it to start working.
Tony: You're gonna be dead soon, you know.

Salim: You will tell me everything. Who you are, how you came to be here. Everything.
Tony: I'm not gonna tell you anything.

Our team leader is the fearless special agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs. Former gunnery Sergeant, marine sniper, coffee aficionado, and functional mute.

Salim: So what are you doing here?
Tony: There's only one force on Earth that can short circuit a man's better instincts, put fire in his veins and make him dive head-long into danger without regard for his well being. Vengeance. I'm here to kill you.

Salim: DiNozzo. It's an Italian name.
Tony: An educated man.
Salim: I got my B.S. from Yale University.
Tony: [scoffs] I got my B.S. in the streets ... You guys got a lousy football team.

Ziva: Dead man is ICE.
Tony: That's cold.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the amazing Dr Donald 'Ducky' Mallard. The first and only M.E. under the big top.

Tony: Looks like someone dropped a cocktail weenie.
Ducky: I have a riddle for you; What is not food, but tastes very well. I'll give you a hint. And you should come up with an answer before Officer David, since it's right on the...
Tony: Tip of your tongue.

Gibbs: Rule number eleven, DiNozzo.
Tony: I would never date a coworker, Boss. Trust me. I mean, why would you even... That's twelve. Eleven... when the job is done, walk away.

Ziva: Are you jealous?
Tony: (he pauses) No. I'm worried. Because you don't seem to understand that your secret friend is interfering with this agency's ability to shut down a terrorist cell!
Ziva: Interfering? How is he interfering?
Tony: He's already killed two suspects.
Ziva: Well, in my country that would be cause for celebration.
Tony: You're not in your country and neither is he!

McGee: Tony, I am not arguing with you.
Tony: You are arguing now.
McGee: No I'm not!
Tony: Yes you are!
McGee: This is not an argument.
Tony: Yes it is.
McGee: No it's not!
Tony: It is

Tony: Long distance can be hard. Tell a friend from Tel-Aviv?
Ziva: You're jealous.
Tony: I'm not jealous.
Ziva: Yes you are.
Tony: No I'm not, and I'm not arguing, boss.
McGee: Are to!
Tony: Am not!

NCIS Quotes

Abby: Have the bad things been outweighing the good things all these years and I just ever noticed?
McGee: What do you mean?
Abby: All I ever wanted was to help people with the truth. And I've done that, but then bad still won sometimes. And I just want to file it away, like it never happened so I can go back to being happy.
McGee: There's nothing wrong with that.
Abby: Yes there is McGee because sometimes the Cutwrights and the Dunns, they just keep fighting no matter what the truth is. And sometimes Ricki never gets to see her grandpa again. If the bad outweighs the good then that means that I'm not enough.
McGee: Abby listen to me...
Abby: And if I'm not enough, McGee, then why even try?

Abby: It's okay. Breena's fine. Breathe. Good. Now hurry up and get to the hospital because Breena is in labor.
McGee: Jimmy? Did you hear what she said? She just said Breena's having a baby. I think you broke him.