Tony: [points to casket] Hop in.
McGee: Why would I do that?
Tony: We take a picture, pretend that you're dead, and you don't have to retake the polygraph!
McGee: Tony that is not funny.
Tony: They already think you're ducking them. It's only going to get worse.

McGee: You know how many connections I've found between Arnett and Sutton? Zero. I have checked everything. Emails, phone records ... is that pastrami?
Tony: [nodding, eating] Mmm.
McGee: Can I have a bite?
Tony: [shakes head] Mmm.

Tony: Who would even want to steal Arnett's body.
Abby: Thank God Burns isn't around to put it in his blog.
Tony: Someone else will fill the void.

Fraternization in the workplace. Never a good idea.

[to Ben Franklin] A penny saved is a penny earned.

There were three men at a fake bachelor party. What were they doing there? No one knows.

Tony: He's got another one.
McGee: Well, that's great, but without cell's numbers, we can't track it." Tony: THINK, McSidekick! Use the leading man! Harness those powers!
McGee: It was an unregistered phone. It was pricey for a cop.
Tony: Bingo!
Gibbs: Shelley got it from a bust.

Tony: How long have you been standing there?
Ziva: Long enough to see that you are well-hydrated after your time in the desert.

This kind of stuff is illegal in most states. In certain parts of Europe it's ... this is bad behavior.

McGee: What are you doing? I'm not the sidekick.
Tony: I'm the boss when Gibbs isn't here.
Gibbs: Gibbs is here.

McGee: Face it, you think you're too good looking to be the sidekick.
Tony: According to women, I'm too good looking.
Ziva: Actually I find McGee the more handsome.

Gibbs: Is that it?
Yeah. What else is there?
Gibbs: Well, maybe we send a couple of agents.
Tony: A couple of agents?
Gibbs: You know, put some eyes on the target. Change the circumstances.
Tony: And you can sell that to Vance?
Gibbs: Oh yeah.

NCIS Quotes

Tony: One other question, I know you're an expert in English history. And I was just wondering, have you ever heard of Archibald Drummond, the 17th Earl of Trent?
Ducky: The Earl of Trent. No, I can't say I have. Why?
Tony: I was just wondering. Thanks.

By the way, Gibbs. I like the new look.